Long for Freedom

Pictures!!

2009-01-03T01:22:00.011+08:00

my number, medal and t-shirt..as souveir!

this is my medal..my achievement!

this is miss lok..memoli wor..close up look..look tired huh.. of cos a long run maNumber tags..buy 4D lo..

yea..wat a success!!..smiley~dashing for finishing line..dis taken by the photographer..

Here are the Pictures! Finally upload la!!

*Jris

January babies!!

2009-01-03T01:00:00.002+08:00

So long never update le!! haha..sorry i had promised to upload the pictures, this is the dayi will update Ms Lok!!..haha

So fast x'mas ended and a new year comes. Fast huh? Just way too fast! I think we really need to treasure time ar...but time is too short.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Wish everyone a good and smooth year!

From next month onwards, I can manage to save as much as I could! Cos there is little bdae...hmm can save le. But this month is seriously broke le...so many january bdaes :'( but i should feel prouud leh :p cos i am one of them ma..hahaha

1. 1st jan -> may san
2. 3rd jan -> jacequeline and teng kuang
3. 4th jan -> simon uncle
4. 6th jan -> huixian
5. 13th jan -> fiona
6. 15th jan ->catherine (meow meow)
7. 20th jan -> shi ying
8. 26th jan -> xue ting!! ( Tingting keep on deny! May be i remember wrongly but I am confirm it's start wif 2.she deny!!)

Haha happy birthdays my friends!!!!~ Money flying off le..so many birthday!!

*Jris

money problem

2008-12-12T13:32:00.000+08:00

Hoho...xmas is around the corner so excited! But no money don't feel any xmas mood at all!! Haix..which job has higher pay and not far, and tiring. Sadded...must learn to save $$ le..but before even saving I had planned how to spend it alread. In the end it is all going down the drain..tsk tsk..

1. going k-box with ahbu and fiona..
2. buying 5 gifts on xmas
3. buy a gift for gift exchange and pay $5 for the cake..
4. go out with QY

so many things need $$$..but i should feel lucky that at least I watch movie, I don't need to spend much on it. Holiday is coming by tomorrow!! i WILL START chionging!!

Here I came $$$..
no $$ surely will die..haix ~.~

seriously no $ no talk..this is life..

marathon

2008-12-12T04:09:00.000+08:00

The ranking of the race...21km^^

hahaha!! 1st time in my life ever know what is call marathon!!..and even experience it besides country race. Seriously it is damn tired and killing me!! All my muscles ache but it is a satisfactory that I complete the course. I saw the banner "run your own race." I agree with that, i saw people walking all the way, but the journey is long..21km...damn long. I even broke my actually record on walking home from orchard roughly 5km the most. On that day I took 13 km walk and 8km running. It isn't easy at all. All along I thought it should be very short as I saw my friend opposite of me from the lane going towards the finish. Who knows it was a total different matter!! It was much more longer to catch up than I thought. Still it's worth it. Of course my friend reach there an hour before me. Most happy of all I reach before the time limit I set ^^*so proud*

hmm.$52 for pain is quiet true but for mentally experience is not a bad thing...waha at least I only be a date penguin is alright le...hoho quite surprise XH got go there but never see her..a little sadded..hope next year we can participate again. Psss..feel like going for the 42km..but alot of my friends said I am insane..:'( can anyone accompany..wahaha..

...want to participate in cycling marathon....
of course i need a bike...does anyone have?...i lost mine!!

*Love
Jris

(will post our pic tonite..wahaha)

我想~

2008-11-06T15:42:00.000+08:00

多数的人无论在这么样的情况都是带着面具的。

我也不例外。。。

有时一旦一些话说了，就会开始疏远了。

也许知道太多了，透露太多了就敢不安了。

所以我一旦要说就像水流般。

可是多时是流暗示，一点一点的。

也许在堤防吧。。。

试探他/她如何。。

可是有时说的太多，事情并没变。。

误会也从没减少过。。

也很少知道我想要的。

可能我要求得太多了。。

造成决的很少人懂我要的。。

想要的。。

不是不说，是难以启齿。

不是不说，是我根本不懂。
说了，也没人明白。。

对是外星人的话吧。。

时候到了我会说，但是想说我：真的没有任何秘密

也有可能我不知吧。。我是木头人。

晞梅上

(我写华语只因为少数人会看..呵呵!...是个不会说话的人..)

what i want 2 say...

2008-10-29T14:32:00.000+08:00

Sense of belonging is important. However, I can't feel anything. Isn't that I don't want to say why? The problem is I am unable to explain, you should have known I am not give with expressing. I felt as if I am suppressing myself and not being myself over there. It is just so weird and out of space, nothing else. Importantly, I feel my aim to be there is because of my greed. Friendship is hard to be seen in this whole thing. Frankly speaking, I doubt I will be all upset if I leave...

How I wish there is halloween in Singapore! I'm envied of my penpal! She can celebrate Halloween, asking for trick and treats and dress-up for this special occassion. I just hope I can take part in it and even knock on everyone's door to say "trick or treats"! Some sweets will be given and we can see plenty of pumkin lantern and people in different character's dress-up! Cool! How I wish I could be part of the party! I would be more than happy if someone bring me over for halloween...haha yea in my dreams I know..lala

pumkin lantern for popcorn from GV!! Lovely HALLOWEEN!!

My good friend bought from Jap^^

I love JAPAN!! Hope I can go there for different seasons!! Importantly, try as many Japanese food as I could! I want to go Japan!!

Time to let go,
If still pondering,
Make it harsh,
Fasten your decision,
You will understand,
One day with relief..

Jris
(Proud of myself to finally put a playlist on blog!! ^^)

醉赤壁 or Drunken Red Cliff

2008-10-29T02:51:00.000+08:00

JJ 醉赤壁's MV

＜醉赤壁＞

曲：林俊杰　词：方文山

落叶堆积了好几层

而我踩过青春

听见

前世谁在泪语纷纷

一次缘份结一次绳

我今生还在等

一世就只能有一次的认真

确认过眼神我遇上对的人

我挥剑转身而鲜血如红唇

前朝记忆渡红尘伤人的不是刀刃

是你转世而来的魂

确认过眼神我遇上对的人

我策马出征马蹄声如雷奔

青石板上的月光照进这山城

我一路的跟一路回声我对你用情极深

洛阳城旁的老树根

像回忆般延伸

你问经过是谁的心跳声

我拿醇酒一坛饮恨

你那千年眼神

是我醉醉坠入赤壁的伤痕

确认过眼神我遇上对的人

我挥剑转身而鲜血如红唇

前朝记忆渡红尘伤人的不是刀刃

是你转世而来的魂

确认过眼神我遇上对的人

我策马出征马蹄声如雷奔

青石板上的月光照进这山城

我一路的跟一路回声我对你用情极深

确认过眼神我遇上对的人

我策马出征马蹄声如雷奔

青石板上的月光照进这山城

我一路的跟一路回声我对你用情极深

for Online-game? Lyrics:

落叶堆积了好几层而吾踩过青春听见

(戒指写在泪滴斑痕)剑指斜在壁里泛痕彼此的冻结一次生

我一生还在等一世就只能有一次的认真

穿越过月色我爱上对的人

我为剑转身而渐渐入红尘前朝记忆孤苦沉伤感可不是遥远

是一朝醒而还困眷恋过夜深我遇上对的人

我怎么出征马蹄声入泪痕

侵蚀着沙的月光照进这战争我一路的等一路的想

我对你柔情情深洛阳城旁的老树根

交汇一半夜深疑问经过是谁的心跳声

(毛毛虫又一开一合)漫漫长夜一叹一合亿万千年颜色是我

醉醉坠入赤壁的伤痕穿越过月色我爱上对的人

我为剑转身而渐渐入红尘前朝记忆孤苦沉伤感可不是遥远

是一朝醒而还困眷恋过夜深我遇上对的人我怎么出征

马蹄声入泪痕侵蚀着沙的月光照进这战争

我一路的等一路的想我对你柔情情深

Always Online

2008-10-26T03:27:00.000+08:00

MV

JJ - Always Online

作詞：林怡鳳作曲：林俊傑

變色的生活　平靜的跳搏
瘋狂的蒙住了頭
短短的守候　是他的溫柔
還是少了點什麽

遙遠兩端愛挂在天空飛
風停了也無所謂
只因爲你曾說
Everthing will be ok

準備好了
Three two one
I'm always online
和你one to one
愛開始擴散
我們連接了穿越天空銀河

開始倒數
Three two one
想出我的孤單
More and more既是深刻
愛亮了
愛笑了
I'm always online

Suddenly, feel that JJ's new album song is mainly focus on sad and rap song. Though this "Always Online", is not as sad as "I Still Miss Her", it is a sad story that had not been uncovered till the end. You may miss someone by your side so suddenly which you sometimes unnoticed. However, it had always been by you through thick and thin, helping you and have been your guardian angel for along time. No matter what they do, we in the end have to stand stong and be who we are, what we must do. We must learn to be independ for sometime they may just vanish and never be seen, still they will always be reaching out for us. This song is very direct pointing at too reliance of certain things. When we are happy at the other end, something may happened and sadness will grow at the other end. It is all laid unknow to us all. It can sound so happy at the moment but it may also change so unpredictably. It is better to cherish and take care for what we have now to be regret later. That will also soon make us mature and know the importance of that special person to you...

If I can be that strong,
If We can withstand all odds,
If They can live longer,
If All of Us cherish,
It will last forever than we thought.

Jris
(Missing things than can never be the same)

First day!

2008-10-26T02:36:00.000+08:00

Today I just attended my first day of Japanese class. I was in a total blur, catch no balls during the lesson. In fact, his English isn't that good that sometimes it maybe confusing when he was trying to translate a little here and there. For his weak in English, it really makes the lesson lighter for he's trying his best to teach for everyone to learn. He is cute and diligent. Kambateh sensei!

After learning this, I still have to practise writing its characters. Just like I am back to primary school doing "xi zhi". Now I realised that what I see can be totally different! Japanese kanagami is harder to write than Chinese. OMG! I can take a whole day to complete it, but the kanji(hanyupinyin) really makes the thing more interesting. What more? I will want to attent the culture event! I love Japan culture!! Love Japan and would want to go one day!!

"Watashi wa Jristina-san desu"

The movie poster. Total 3 parts!

After Japan class had immediately go watch 20th century boys. Like this show mainly it is mysterious and thriller. However, not many people like it. Frankly speaking, I think this show is too much of thinking and guessing. The director purposely come in between past and present. Making us guess who can be the "Friend"; the bad guy. Up till now I still can't guess it but I hope my suspicions not worng, and the answer may be out next year. Urrgh the suspension is killing me, hahaha but what I am looking forward to where "Kanari" meets with her father. She's the chosen one and how can she bring her father to justice and I wonder what is her mother doing then. I want the season to be out FAST!!!

In the movie, I like Kenji, Otcho and Kanari!!

Jris
(Will search and read its comic at the meantime!)

Missing you~

2008-10-26T02:07:00.000+08:00

Our philiphines friends

Now maybe you are wondering why I blog so much. Because now is HOLIDAY!! I have time now!

Time really flies very fast. 6 months had fast that both of my philiphines colleagues had returned back to their country. One even specially cook her bee hoon for me before her return. Haiz~ This is just so short. I know that this doesn't happen for the first time already, and I get used to it already, still friends can be hard to part. I do miss them a little, but we have to move on. Now we have to work hard and thinks good for everyone we know and concern. Jia you!!

I miss my penpal, eve too!..hope that time could slow down sometimes..

Tomorrow going Malaysia so I better be in bed now..

Ciaos,
Jris
(Miss every secs with friends but time is short to regret.)

Snow = Rain

2008-10-25T09:04:00.000+08:00

Will be taking plenty of pictures like this when christmas around the corner..buddy let's sneak in!!

Woots! I have finally change my blogskin ^^
I know it is very blue but I love blue, and somemore it is snowing.
Just like the weather in Singapore right now. It is freezing as if snowing in other countries. Still I will wonder when I can actually see the snow falling. Love it as it looks so white anf the scene is just so attractive. I think my penpal and I both like winter. Winter is really a nice season, besides autumn. Maybe it looks sad and emotional to someone, but it may means a new hope. It is just a cycle of life I think.

Feel like singing:

Jingle bells,
Jingle bells,
Jingle all the way...

I love Christmas!! Can't wait for the Christmas come!!

Love,
Jris
(At last I have finish changing the skin, phew and there's no problem typing with the old lappy but things seems weird for some keys "change" its place.)

JJ's 我还想她

2008-10-24T14:59:00.000+08:00

JJ 我還想她 mv

I love this song. It is so sad and touch, really bring out the korean "taste" which he sings for the song. I specially like his slow song, so touching¬

Though look handsome, someone in school trying to imitate him really makes people want to puke. Totally trying to tarnish JJ's image. OMG, hope I won't be seeing the guy whom my classmates had been talking about. Is not that he has fault trying to be a "star", this time JJ as he "looks" like one, the problem is overacting and doing can get on people's nerve. In other words I will treat that this person is a pest. If let me see him, maybe I will vomit right in his face. Sad for you...

我还想她词：邢增华

曲：林俊杰

泪水将我淹没到底谁该难过

究竟是谁放掉这段感情

我才终于明白办不到的承诺就成了枷锁

现实中幸福永远缺货

请告诉她我不爱她

笑著难过自我惩罚

想终止这一切挣扎横了心说真心谎话

别告诉她我还想她

恨总比爱容易放下

当泪水堵住了胸口就让沉默代替所有回答

我才终于明白办不到的承诺就成了枷锁

现实中幸福永远缺货

请告诉她我不爱她

笑著难过自我惩罚

想终止这一切挣扎横了心说真心谎话

别告诉她我还想她

恨总比爱容易放下

当泪水堵住了胸口就让沉默代替所有回答

我不爱我不痛我不懂

我的心早已掏空

真心话言不由衷

请告诉她我不爱她

笑著难过自我惩罚

想终止这一切挣扎横了心说真心谎话

别告诉她我还想她

恨总比爱容易放下

当泪水堵住了胸口就让沉默代替所有回答

别告诉她我还想她就让沉默代替所有回答

Got this lyrics from here: http://www.jjboke.com/post/wohaihenxiangtageci.html.
A lot of JJ's lyrics and new song. I think this is really JJ's blog if not wrong. The blog also accompany with things concern about him. Check it out!

Poopi!!

2008-10-23T14:30:00.000+08:00

Too long never been blogging. People shall get bored after clicking umpteen times the post is unchanged. Wellz..maybe I think too much but now I can upfate. (Feel like changing the link to what QY's friend had: notimetoblog.blogspot cool isn't it..ahahah)

YES!! "O" Level is over!! No point stressing over it though I hadn't finish the summary. WHo cares, all I hope now I could at least get a C6. That is not to waste all the effort I had put through!! The stress and tension which I had gained from learning "what is English." Frankly speaking, all of this 17 years of English education, I felt that this is the first time I get to say this :"Hei, I know what is English now. Cuckoo don't call me to improve! I am improving, just that you watch your tongue if not I will snap your tongue off." This is to shoot someone, whom I remember he said about, the incident was as if just happened yesterday. Well, that time I could admit my English is seriously sucks to the core. Right now I feel like I am much more confident in speaking and portray myself as if.. I KNOW ENGLISH!!

Equation of English now: English = Confident + Mind think.

Though I just know English just like the tip of my pinky, still there is more for me to learn! Currently, because of English I am overly stress with all the load I had. Projects, tuition, homework and exam arriving. Now, 2 heavy loads are off my shoulders, so happy and I can start having a little carefree life.

Fill you in a bit, people thing I am insane. I should have slept early the date before exam and take a day off, but I am totally a weirdo that do the complete opposite way. Wrapped two presents, designed 4 cards altogether till 3AM. Yea..I know I am insane. Worse still, I woke up early and went to school ON TIME (surprising o_O). After school, I can jump and play as if the exam was over. She thought that I was really insane. Hah...too bad I am not someone that is so stressful. I will play, joke, laugh like nobody's business. I will start worry and stress after exam, which is obviously too late. Well that was also for a spur moment. See how carefree I am. That's why a proverb in chinese is used to describe me: 死到临头，还不知死是这么写。OR 天塌下来当被改呢！Haha..I quite proud I am being describe as such :p.

Cheers people!
And good luck for who are still taking "O".

Exam is what,
A paper for money,
Worth nothing,
But the life of more trees.
So is this call saving earth.
Nah..bullshit :p
So laugh more!
A bullshit for short pain.

Love,
Jris
(In hyper mood will be posting again.)

First day of sch!!

2008-09-04T03:00:00.000+08:00

Today is his birthday, just wish him hear but not in person. Cause never been seeing him and it may be hard to talk to him le. After seeing his pic, he looks more like someone in school who like to act emo, alot more like going for those emo rock band..haha but friends say he's more handsome than Tim..haha whom I say is almost alike in some sense, whereas he and char disagree some where. Wellz different understanding and perception can bring things out differently. Haha..

~ Happy school opening rp mates!

Finally come to school. Yea as my nick says I will change as much as possible. I will try harder, make it as if striving hard for my Englsh. It is a little embarasse to be a ad example when my brother is giving he's full strength in school. That is call a good example, hmmm I should learn from it. Hmmm.. now i'm wondering where I should find my new motivation. Everyday is different class, and finally it happens on me. I think I shall come school more often for my stupid grades more to pass my gpa, make it better for next year.

School reopens is good in a sense to learn new things but it is still boring!! Hate going to school but I will give my best shot.

Miss everything, no money le *sniff* have a lot of things to buy. tsk tsk...

Bad Mood

2008-07-19T06:06:00.000+08:00

I had persisted for those days, to be early and be in school. I had but not for today. All because of some stupid old woman. A nag and a pain in the eye for today. Irritating should be the word in describe and additional unreasonable, should be tou thinking me of unreasonable then. I had tried to explain that much to her yesterday before work, speaking nicely, instead of harsh and rude! Can't she just understand and digest what I had ever said to her? In frustration, I went back to sleep angry with her, though I wanted to stick to my promise of going school, attend school to prove it. She otherwise thinks that I did no improvement and disobey her. I had told her I work yesterday was due to the salary total would be on 20th. She just can't bother and give annoying nags which you all would think it's expressing of concern. In the end she even added that she would cut off my pocket money forever if I don't obey or even added that I should pay my own school fees. This just shows that she can't understand and get my meaning. It really make me so oody that I never turned up in school, sorry people I know I very wilful and emtional. However I will go school sooner.

Hope that my mood will be green then, if not bad things befall I will have headache as I'm broke now.

Alot of colors a day,
what color you are now?
Bad or good,
it up to you to chey.

*Jris

Bad Day

2008-07-18T15:36:00.000+08:00

Yup up again to update. Maybe wanted to update because too upset or I feel that its fun? Seriously, I don't what had got into me. I just feel like update and posting up my feelings here. Haha, but you all ones said I'm someone who don't appear as how I feel, maybe expressionless. Truly speaking I don't know how to express much la, then I forget easily is the other thing.

Aaaah! What happen today? I was called for work, so happy but had to push away the date with xh. Actually in first place I had planned to work 'cause its last day for the update salary. In the end, call mickey to change as she remeinded me. In the end she herself also work. It really pissed me a little so I nagged at her. In the end my job is back at hand, and I apologised to xh for giving empty promised. Really should say its a bad day to work. Alot of things had been cropping up, maybe it's mom's nag that cursed my day. Urrgh!

Acutally, I only have ideas that 2 things went wrong so far but someone said 3. Well really have no idea in mind where the third one come from. All I know that I caused alot of trouble to people around me. Feel sorry to the people, but don't expect to look remorseful when I do wrong. I have my ways to express when doing wrong, gosh can just stop reprimanding or teaching me what you all so-called correct. I can have my ways, do force someone to obey as what you thought. This just make me more irritated. I know it was my carelessness to have forgotten to print out the ticket when the customers had ask for an exchange of tickets the next day. I had been so apologised to him that he had been waiting for so long that I not only have to ask for so many tmes for manager to make the final decision. In the end I had otally forgotten. Still its lucky that I in the end remembered and informed. If not everything will just be worst or never be solve man. Next is I totally forgotten to returned money to the float, I should apologize then. It's not on purpose but again its my muddleless mistake. Well, I had tried my best and remember at the least, can't just stop nagging. I'm not a person like whoever you are express yourself freely or say what you are unhappy about. I'm not people like you all. Seriously, half of my mood was been drenched from the facilitator, and the other was from Mother. The lesson of the day was so boring and complicated due to him, when it can be interesting and much more easier for it's relating to our daily life. God, everything was just spoiled and I ended up sleeping in between the lesson. I can't take it anymore, worse come to it was I was very very very tired. Can see that? VERY? Wear me off whole date that I wish I would have not work 'cause I felt so listless right after lesson. Damn, hope he won't explain that much anymore just like he wordy 6p. Please make it short and sweet, man.

*Happy Birthday Char!!

Ever few so lucky,
Till today its rot.
Days where most luck falls,
hard on days bad.
I always been bless
then till today is burnt.

*Jris

EARLY!!

2008-07-17T02:59:00.000+08:00

Too long never update le... now I feel seriously bored and tired. How I wish I can go home at this instant. It's killing me bit by bit as the time flow so slowly. But you people should cheer 3 times for me and encourage me for coming so early! I reached here at 9.00 sharp. For the first time in my life I had not been late to school. That was realy miracle. Ha ha talk about that, I had also sealed a pinky promise with xh. Promising her that I will turn up everyday and try not to be late. I think I can live up to it, just like what I had done so in Year 1 and promised ah bu. In the end she's the one who had not turn up mostly and I myself had force myself to do it. Thinking of it, I felt like I had followed her steps, but its too late for me to quit. In anyway I wouldn't like to quit, it had gone so far. Now I shall persist and resist, these are the main point to keep myself always come school. Actually, come school not for me, but because of my friends in class what my supervisior said; xh whom I promise and mickey who always seems to "nag and worry" for my results, and Mother who is always nagging and looking at her back, how hard she had been working. 4 more weeks to go, it shall be easy with the twitch of my fingers, I shall try hard, believe that I can do it today, why can't I do it tomorrow, shall start anew. I know the feeling of keeping the promise and on time, if want to always feel this way, I cant try ^_^

AJA!!

never look back,
never fall back,
shall persist and success,
to live with the pride,
that I can make.

*Jris

A hole...

2008-07-16T12:48:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I think it's hard to get what people understand, therefore it leads to cracks in friendship or even making everything jux so difficult for everyone. People take sides and have different point of view which also leads to opposing, that will in the end worsen everything. I do hope that people can share, stand neutral as best as they can or even digest to think. For mostly we don't really know what is going about in them, their life or around them. But we still can give out tiny, tint little wish and blessing, it is just to make our dreams come true; as well as our greed that controlling it, but greed for the heart of another person. Maybe I'm just contradicting, but now I hope that they can mend their friendship again, hoping that she can be with him if fates allow and she will let go, or cool down whatever had happened. Maybe I'm just a nosyparker or greedy person that meddle in people's business and hope for too many things, still I hope that they can be friends for people concerns differently, on the other hand people had more trouble to solve which she never voice it out, not that I mean others don't have. Unlikely, she too stressed and unhappy that she hadn't got over it yet and we rub in salt she may be frustrated. However, to the other who meant good concern with a kind wish also not in fault. For we don't know their thinking and point of you. To him, I hope from this 1st relationship will not only let him learn a thing or two, also let him grow up and be strong a little. Hope he can be strong internally and able to face the problem when he in a relationship again. Al the best for the people around me, I love you all people. Hope you all won't be hurt and break down easily, be strong guys.

*Hope things will be fine and back to normal again after the storm.

Things will change,
Mods and motion expresses
Everything filled with strong powerful words,
yes it hurts,
but we have to learn
Forgive and forget,
here we live and be back again.
Mend the hole as best as quick,
To heal before late.

*Jris

mOO~

2008-06-03T02:42:00.000+08:00

This 1/2 year been working in the cinema, and I started fallen in love with it. For what? Of course for the movies, popcorn. It is a place to enjoy, though sometime is stress and tedious. Moreover, I had truly understand the hard work and firmness to work at the usher point. Stress is an additional for further description. Sometimes have to face with rude, aggroant or even irritating patrons. Still is worth an experience for me to learn, to know how people can react, people's expression can be interesting at times. Especially when we don't allow them to do things in their way. What would people mainly do when things are not right in your place? Think and you can imagine how many different reaction you will receive. And since I had work 1/2 year, of course I spend more time in movies, by signing in most of the time, mostly new movies had watched. However I had missed out some for it only screened in other outlets, as this is a small outlet can only play limited movies. In the end also no time to watch others which I wanted to but nah~ everything is fine, for I have still more to keep track as more new ones coming but hopefully by the time i'm not too tired out.

Movies watch:
Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian2)
Indiana Jones: The Kingdom of Crystal Skull
Made of Honor
What Happen In Vegas(2)
Iron Man(2)
Speed Racer(3)
Dance of the Dragon

Want to watch:
Chocolate
Sex and The City
Drillbit Taylor
Accuracy of Death
August Rush

Miss you all people
*Jris

Him again

2008-06-02T14:00:00.000+08:00

Too long never up date my blog le...haha people do miss me? bleh...i'm just kidding.

This few months too busying working in work, project and a little of school. And seriously i'd enjoy alot these months. SO glad that I'd work alot, if not I won't be able to get ready to prepare myself for this gift showering month.

Realized that when the more you want to forget the person, especially when at the last stage. Things will just always crop up and make things change. In the end everything has to start all over again, back to the same old day. Now everyday I have to think about him again. Out of the thin air I can still see, and same like last time hope to see him again, how he is? Gosh! Everything is back to square one. That was due to the so-called accidentally. Almost everyday seeing this same classmate, and everytime see him I can see he's shadow. Especially he's kiddish smile and the glow in his eyes look exactly like him. Looks like he's a copy of him, and this totally make me a mess. When always seeing him I had to suppress everything as deep and low as possible, if not everything will just lose control. I should be grateful as well for I'm not as close with this guy if not everything will totally repeat again. If you see closely, you may realise who's I'm avoiding. However, I think is hard to find my flaws. For I'm too good in hiding it.

Money, enjoyment..
Leisure of days,
Spend it more now
But wisely with money of 'cos.

Jris

Controlling??

2008-04-19T04:46:00.000+08:00

Nowadays, to busying with stuff and unable to update including personality quiz...haiz will put on post soon..doing fyp is so stressful. It just make me too wear out that sometimes I don't even feel like working anymore. I'm really tired, really stress! Maybe I'm too much of a carefree person that I somehow dislike stress and wanted to run away. Or maybe feeling too over controlled. Just hope that these things will over soon, for this life doesn't suits me in my points. Getting force to do things, wake up early to attend lesson, try to do things on time, these are driving nuts with 'rules'. To abide to them all, setously is hard on me that's maybe the reason for why I'm all in the look, with the face and in the tone. Moreover, guiltiness will eat me up again for skipping class, facing mom is even worst for to explain. Things always not as good and easy as it sounds.

1. To be on time for I'm being downgraded
2. Try to be motivated
3. Try to be updated and do things in told
4. WAKE UP!!

sound so force and tired but what to do?

*Jris

The day between thurs and fri

2008-03-28T09:58:00.000+08:00

Yesterday went to have supper with ladies, lao pa, and jia yen. First time felt that I saved a few pennies on my food, feel a little proud. Actually quite full, and I was quite surprise by jac's appetite. I think I next time would bring her for bread toast buffet if I could find one, probably high tea is better which she can finish it slowly. Haha and on the way here, I now then realised they were trying to spread me and pig. OMG! No pigs for me, not over that line. Urrrgh I hate rumours and make up things. Sometimes things just whack out from people's mouth signaled by their brain. What can there brain contains: watermelon juice or pork meat flooding.

She can be this eqn which I shall repeat:
Lao pa + Pig ru = ME!

I won't want to head for the abnormal ways. I'm straight in every sense, but to some people, nah, I'm just doesn't seem to.

Brickering at the table, isolation herself and a new couple? They are quite compatible, but it's better never meddle into other people's business. They want privacy and peace, not music or poppers to celebrate. Maybe till they are both ready and in stable stage, for both to admit. It's just a matter of wait....

Haiz~ from supper can see her emptiness in the eyes, a little sad. When singing love songs can obviously hear her sadness and helplessness. Yesterday maybe it's just not the day for kbox to some. Still it's a way to vent feelings. When bill came along, it's vomit blood period. Money can make people kill and change in mood. The bill shall never come till everything is done. Can't they know a word of enjoyment. Money just disrupted it! In the end because of clearing up "money issue", the room was just so tense and complains just come along. Luckily this is once in a while, if not I'm going to bleed soon.

After 2 hours of sleep, went out again. First to PP to accompany Mich, then rushed to bugis again. I'm an ultraman by now. After shopping in KL with pig, today I can walk and shop with xh and mq for 4 hrs. haha had also both 2 shirts...quite meaning full.

And enjoy our delicious lunch at The Soup Spoon. Hmmmm...the soup is soo tasty and thick, the bread that accompany with the soup is chewy, the smoked salmon sandwhich is salty but nice for the half cooked salmon. yummy~!

*Jris

干的眼泪

2008-03-21T10:19:00.000+08:00

真的真的不知道! 我没有办法哭, 即使在这么伤心难过, 眼泪始终还是流不出来. 还是有的眼泪在小时候已流干了? 真正能让我哭的是非常生气的是吧.... 因为今天在做工时, 同事似乎话中有话; 无论别人骂得在凶, 话中带刺, 语气苛刻, 我还有办法不哭, 或发大火. 可能我没力气了, 或许我不想理吧...自然的人家会觉得我有蟑螂的命...哈哈~

*Jris

Step Up 2 the street

2008-03-20T03:03:00.000+08:00

Today watch Step Up 2. The movie overall is alright for me. Still prefer the 1st one over this. Maybe hip-hop don't bring much life to me. The song is nice got the beat but the dancing style doesn't have much effect on me. Just because I think they move very hard those kind of impression on me. However, I like the meaning of "The streets". How people from not knowing each other become glue to each other, support each other just to achieve what they want. The meaning behind draws to me alot. A person can't always leave in what you have force or plan for them. They one day would have to be themselves and go for their passion. No one can restrict a person into what you want, someone will spot their talent and make use of it and their passion will grow when someone willing to support and encourage them. They rely and believe in each other that's why they could have unique steps and performed a wonderous dance that everyone recognised, the words that awaken everyone. Hmmmm...dancing in the rain is just so fun! They danced in it and the splashing effect brings the dance more hippie. Love people dance in the rain, 'cos I think they can clear their mind. Ha ha but it have to be overcome for getting wet is heavy, dance steps somehow have to be control...

I like the plot, it's better than 1 for the plot. Just that I doesn't have liking in hip-hop. I'm towards street dance ba? Or Jazz....haha

*Jris

从洗澡看做事态度

2008-03-18T03:24:00.000+08:00

一个人习惯在何时洗澡, 可观察出他做事的态度喔. 看一看当你急需协助时, 他会有什么反应. 那么来测试以下吧!

你习惯在什么时候洗澡?

A.喜欢饭后洗澡
B.喜欢饭前洗澡
C.习惯看完电视后洗澡
D.习惯上床睡觉前洗澡
E.喜欢早上起床后洗澡
F.会跟家人排顺序洗澡

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分析：

选择A　-　属于做事比较慢条斯理型的人, 他们喜欢在洗澡时沉淀一下思绪, 不会情绪化, 但如果排在他们后面洗澡, 那可要等上老半天才轮到你！

选择B　-　属于较具领导能力的人, 他们比较不爱泡澡, 因为这对于喜欢速战速决的他们来说, 太浪费时间了. 而且他们会在洗完澡之后安排许多事情, 像是吃饭和看电视等.

选择C　-　属于先享受, 其他事后再说的人, 他们很重视满足自己的欲望, 比较不会事先规划. 他们会把目标订得很高, 但还是会非常脚踏实地作盘算.

选择D　-　这类型的人习惯将自己打点干净之后, 一身香香地舒舒服服钻进被窝. 他们不习惯过团体生活, 即使和朋友出游, 也不习惯跟别人同处一室.

选择E　-　这类型的人比较精明, 对于理财很有一套, 等一切做好万全的准备后才行动. 要避免过于看重金钱和财产, 否则会被看作是见钱眼开的人.

选择F　-　能很好协调跟家人排顺序洗澡的人属于社会型的人, 他们能接受别人的意见, 处事会将心比心, 为别人着想, 因此在团体活动里不会和他人起冲突.

你选什么呢?
我的是A哦 , 象吧?

*jris

Irritation cause pissed

2008-03-17T15:59:00.000+08:00

Haiz~ No matter how's thing is said, no one will understand, that's why I would always think it's meaningless to explain. They believed in what they see, and somehow they just can't see the visible wall. In the end make everything just so hard and irritating. Sometimes really wonder in their mind besides boy-girl relationship is there nothing else? Wanted to clarify so much bu not much sense can be knocked in. At least there is someone understand how's the feeling of being force on as well as having someone overthinking... This is just so annoying. Well after saying it, I shall let you all think whatever you all want. Importantly, I know what I'm going through, doing and feeling. I'm not deceiving myself for it pointless, but I experienced it before so it's clear a water.

Once its stated
Its no turning back
By hook or crook
I will get it done
At all means
For those are not threat
Which I know clearly
Just like how you read me.

*Jris

Think of what yan said again. It's just admire not having hots. There's difference for these 2 words. Maybe she's much more experience and after she pointed out, I immediately know which it belongs to. Clear to myself but she dumped me with "just to help you figure out. Hope you can find it." I'm just a lost kiddo sometimes, but the mist will be disperse.

However, it's wise to put things to a stop rather than overdoing. If keeping insisting will somehow make people mentally falling into it and just accept your words like hypnotising. It's more towards forcing than encourage. Just to make you a pass, I won't fall into it for the answer is laying in front of me whether it's true or false. The more to accept I will be pry off.

摩羯女

2008-03-15T16:33:00.000+08:00

摩羯女真的很有个性，她有梁朝伟一样冷漠的眼神，她有傲视一切狂野的内心，她有说假话
都能让大家信服的真诚，其实她有一颗孤独的心——
摩羯女，永远一副无所谓的样子，其实内心很脆弱
摩羯女，永远一副不言悔的样子，其实不知在内心矛盾了千万次
摩羯女，永远拒绝来自家人以外的关心，因为她承受不起
摩羯女，永远把自己保护的很细密，因为害怕受伤害，所以宁肯不去经历
摩羯女，会亲手封杀自己的幸福，永远摆出一副高姿态，活在自我的世界里
摩羯女，会亲手伤害对她最好的人，就为了年轻时所谓的感觉，到现在也不愿意说出心里真实的感受
摩羯女，最自我的女子，从不考虑他人的感受，其实她早就设计好了那个结局
摩羯女，少了这样一份包容，多了那样一份完美，注定在感情的道路上迷茫、徘徊
摩羯女，一直在等待那个欣赏她的人出现，为他绽放她的美丽
摩羯女，那人真的出现了，她也会怕有天失去而先行放弃，伤了他人，也伤了自己
摩羯女，冰冷的她总是在即将被融化时再次放掉自己的幸福
摩羯女，冬日生日的你何时才会被幸福真正的温暖着啊！

真的好象我!...简直是在形容另一个我...
你说像不像?

*Jris

好想....

2008-03-15T02:52:00.000+08:00

永远埋葬的感觉, 一旦放手了, 就会永无休止的涌出来.
后悔之后, 为了堵住过渗的水, 心房就筑更坚固冰冷的围墙了.
一开始如果没发生, 麻烦就不会找上门了.
人也不会因回避而变的冷酷无情, 独自承受...

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真的好想见到你...
是你....
但不是这个你.....

*Jris

Home for a day....

2008-03-11T12:15:00.000+08:00

Think of yesterday, feel so funny. Realised I always so blur. Ha ha sometimes when suppose to punch 2 people's card but in the end 1 only, if not I would be punching the wrong side. I think no one can tahan ba...:"p

Haiz~ Actually intend to go kbox with friends but I overslept and ah bu can't be out so early, in the end fio the only 1 waiting. She lost her interest and in the end everyone stay at home. Feel so wasted giving away my shift...can earn $ than staying at home and slack. Sad sia. Somemore given away to pig le never mind lo treat it as a holiday. Again next mon need to take off just for the postphone for today. Think of it, I had wasted 2 days of work just to enjoy...booohooo. I want to work!!!...Also get out of house.

Since kbox had been postphone, I wanted to go out of haircut and go watch movie with hetty but ls never reply. In conclusion, I'm staying home for the whole day. Just so bored staying at home the whole day. However, I can finally do 2 things which I had always wanted to. May a minor and usual things but i long hoping for..haha but no thanks to you hor pig. Still you make me so bored at home sia..haha maybe I just over active and don't like staying home...haha

1. listen to beautiful scent opeing song...haha stupid hor
2. have a taste of mom's cooking...so long never eat le hmmm ^^

Very minor but today can finally reach my goal sia..

Claim again: It is very hard to change people's way of thinking when they insisted. Just so difficult or should I say they are too stubborn? However, it's not I don't want to admit. The truth is I don't like him. I just treat him like a brother, or just a family member that I wanted to have. I had hope for a brother so long, that's why it would be this way that leads to everyone over thinking. Gosh! Everything I said I know people would think it's denial. But I think it is just like the way you treat WY sometimes and that's how people will think, haha just so simple and most people will make it complicated. If I'm trying to make it clear to everyone, everything will just get worst! God...can't someone understand? By the way, think of the incident I had a crush, I would try to get away from the workplace asap. Now see....

*Jris

Clearly remember what yan said before. Wanted to write it down long time ago but it just rings in my ears and hard to explain...
....................................................
Maybe in the past its all misleading or we too getting involve in finding each other's flaws that bury everything. Or think of it, it's only to find an answer..haha just so complicated. I may not have like him ba, but sometimes we knew its better for us be friends so we just quarrel to make each of us have more face. Even the whole class noticed, we can just shout from one end to the other just to find fault with each other. The past with you just so fun, but things around us affected and forced everything to change, in the end it made me draw a wrong conclusion which I realised now. However it was not much of a regret for we were young then, besides when you think of it at least you would smile for we were friends till then and never make use of one another like someone. For we had good memories and after thinking we knew the answer after so long. Just so fun it always took a long time to get an answer. Finally know...at last =) But you have girlfriend le wor and we shall always be friends like we were even after that day which I "accidentally" confessed. Besides, you all finally found me after so long where no one could reach or see me. As if I'm vanished even I still exist and everything never change. Haha but this day maybe will come again when I wished for it to happen again....

...finally I had the courage to write it down after so long yan had said...importantly I'm cleared...haha not the "gay" ba...haha

.........toilet bowl again -

女人的花花世界...

2008-03-08T16:02:00.000+08:00

哈! 明天是三八妇女节哦, 是个纪念并提醒全世界妇女要争取权利和平等的日子. 这是我从"我报" 读到的, 而且以下的小测验也是从那儿取的, 每个星期五才有刊.

女人一生不同的时期就像不同的花, 应该学习在每一个当下绽放自己. 那你喜欢哪一种花呢?

1. 牡丹花(peony)
2. 雏菊(daisy)
3. 玫瑰(rose)
4. 百合花(lily)

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分析:

牡丹花:
娇艳高贵的你, 需要人家以最尊贵的方式待你, 不过光鲜外表下, 隐藏的是一颗纤细易碎的玻璃心.

雏菊:
带着阳光般健康气息的你, 散发出生命的光和热, 偶尔的多愁善感更增添你的吸引力. 你有很多异性朋友, 但想要以对方更进一步, 就得温柔点!

玫瑰:
多情多刺, 敢爱敢恨, 举手投足之间充满了女性魅力. 你不只眼睛会说话, 还很会撒娇.

百合花:
生长在空山幽谷中的你, 散发出一种独特气质, 不但高雅迷人, 野性中还带些天真. 如果有谁想得到你, 要有不怕死的精神以及能和你匹配的学识.

猜得到我选什么花吗?
雏菊

*Jris

Re-thinking

2008-03-08T02:06:00.000+08:00

Claim again: Not yet! Not yet to be. Seriously, all of you have the wrong idea. Just a brother I'm yearning for....i know. YES! I'm sure.

Flashing back, I remembered the way you looked at me when mentioned the name. Maybe you have noticed my look, but I never said a word and smiled at you only. That makes you quiet a little. However, I know both of you are driving me to admit, but I never fall. I remained firm. Either avoiding my eye contact, trying switching topics, smiling or just nodding. I sense you know, but act don't know for I never speak. She sensed and preying to get something out of it, but my mouth is too tight. All you can do is careless and she giving up or try again next round. Actually, it's no use. I got the answer and I jolly well knows.

Please la! Heal your wounds before think about who I like can? I don't like anyone yet sia. I very stone de. Just wanted to tell you that maybe there's a better one out ahead that will understand you more, don't bother about your looks. Accept everyone that's important to you and your past. People will grow up and become more mature after it relationship. It is part of process and experience of life sweet and sour. One-sided love is still love lo. Haha...i'm still immature maybe I'm not in relationship yet ba...haha you have le then maybe me le...haha correction all 5 of you includes the one you claim my sister :p...Btw relationship has different lesson ma...so learn slowly lo. Whatever you hope for just grab hold and aim la...wait also no use..

Jiayou people for relationship...
i will be wait:
1. xian~
2. mickey(mq)
3. nini
4. pig ru
5. my sister?

haha must all have le then come..haha :p

Cupids, venus, lord moon?
Make people shower by love.
They commit faults sometimes,
For matching the wrong hearts,
Spare their mistakes by sparing yourself,
Later maybe better.
True love rarely come by first,
but thru long years of searching and learning.

----------------NEVER LIKE HIM AT ALL *Clear in my heart, brain n mind*-------------

*Jris

Intolerant

2008-03-07T23:15:00.000+08:00

Never think, believe, hope or feel for it. Please! Maybe you all are just over sensitive...

Just can't tolerant someone don't respect other people religion. Just because wanted to earn people's money and denied, pushing blames saying that you didn't say anything or even blaming the customer. Once knowing someone whom looks like a muslim or asking whether its halal. You should tell him honestly. Yes, even you have forgotten about it for that day, it's never late to admit. You may just get reprimanded by them but they still appreciate you for your honesty, may also recommend their friends whom could eat non-halal. However, for what your doings now were just so wrong. You denied and pushed off every single responsibility to the customer. Have you ever think what he would be doing later? How will he have to reflect, importantly what he feels about the workplace? It will bring everything down. No matter how delicious the food, wonderful ambience, great or polite service, with a slight disrespect of their religion or make them commit their rules. It's just so wrong. Have you ever think why people dislike you so much? Or where have you done that doesn't earn people's respect? Your selfishness, unhonesty, pointing fingers around, ordering people without setting out good examples. Even though you know more than anyone does, from back to front which you can help, but still you never prove that you are worth it. You never consider about others and do a part what what your status should play that is enough for us to get irritated and untolerating, subsequently leads to disrespecting and indirectly insulting you. It's to people limits, that's the point for the day I just said. It's just slipped off. By right, I should have called you that for it's a disgrace to animals. For animals have more conscience than you do. You shall be a black-hearted plump witch.

Never hate yet,
But it grows daily,
Just worthless planting it on you,
So shall let it be,
For you to leave with sins,
Awaiting the retribution arrive,
Or maybe...
You taking opportunity,
Cos the table turned.

*Jris

Miniature movie matronton...

2008-03-07T21:11:00.000+08:00

Mon finally we had time off. Mq and I go for our pairs movie mataroton..haha This is the previllage of working there. No restriction of singing in, except to the days you work. Isn't that cool?

First: Charlie wilson war.
Not a bad show, but they speak very fast and almost I can't catch any words out of it. Especially my slow in understanding that seriously make it worst. Wondering congressman, politcian or socialite are all fast speakers? Won't they know sometimes people will lose in catching up? Maybe this apply to some people only..haha. Actually what I really think about this show is the war scenes seemed so fake as if cut and match with history tapes. She also commented the viewing point from pilot shooter is like games. I think the director wanted to bring more effects and let us feel more. In all, I think is flat, he can try create it in 3-D so it just looks real.

Second: Juno
Live up to its award. The opening where introducing casts, so interesting for its drawings. Importantly the story, about kids nowadays and responsibility for parents to have kids. Before planning to have kids, sometimes parents should understand and plan what they can give to the kids rather than in the end something happens, giving kids broken family, when they done wrong shield them or dump them to their gramps. Interesting though how it links from children to parents and to future parents. Giving out notice for premature sex consequences, warning abortion is part of killing your family. This is a cycle...

Thrid: No country for old man
Finally understand why he's the best actor for oscar and named "horrorifying" character for history after sissorman. He's say no much in the movie that sent chills to our spine and his weapon is something that we mostly in use! Maybe not in here but in the desert? He's just a physcotic murderer, killing people with the toss of coins or his mood. Gosh! Through out the whole show, its almost climax in every scene. Heartbeat seldom back to normal, question marks all over which you can't predict what would be next. Even till the story ended, you didn't get an answer out of it. The murderer die? What had the police done? The man who was wanted by the murderer, was he saved? Sometimes answers lie in front of us if we watch carefully. Bad person is good person in different way, that's what I think about this show is talking about...haha

3 movies in a day never before man. Especially watching it free. Cool isn't it? However, I'm just too slow in catching what they say and just read the subtitles. My eyes are faster than my ears. Haha or should be my brain.

Money, money, money,
Flooded you for now,
Washed away in short,
For all it do is dry us up.

*Jris

about dead

2008-02-20T09:05:00.000+08:00

Just woke up not long ago, about 4 but in betweens I had woke up 3-4 imes. It's had been so long that I had never slept so long. Maybe one unsleep night and 24 hours working round the clock sure wore me out. Haha, on the 16 why people treat me so good ar? So curious of it, they even treated me and helped me pay my fare. Woah! What goes into them all of sudden? But at least I had conscience, in order not to waste too much cab fare for I was so rot luck that no train and bus that can bring me to the west. Only choice left was cab. In fact the driver also said I'm insane travelling from east to west. All this is because Ru wanted me turn up. Haiz~ By the way, what bao bei ar Ni. That old man is just my lao pa, and nothing wrong.

Sat in front of the tv and rot with nini, tingting. Going nuts reading the substitles in canton trying to learn. So fun but still so bored for the rest of them play majong in the room. Around 3 then I went in to get into the den. At first win a few dens but soon lose all my winnings and half of my capital. See what gamblings can result to? Haha, but during gambling was so funny, everybody try to entertain each other and lightened the atmosphere. But in the end it still dead silence. Silence can make miracles and more winnings? Maybe it's possible for Ru is quite throughout the half match and she won quite a handful. Hmmm...i should learn that huh?

Winner of the day: MQ the rat (In the rat year, they are the luckiest animal..haha)

Gambling den closed at 8 and I forced myself to work round the clock from GWC to Taka. Regret never take lao pa's cab so I can reach orchard early to sleep. Cos by taking bus I'm almost late, as well as the latest one. So damn tired and even slept in the toilet. Haha who cares toilet is smelly when that person is half dead. Xian even best never come and sleep at home some more. TOday finally save up my beauty sleep and gotten enough energy again..

Sian! Going work again...if next time there is such round, I shall go challenge my limits...haha..

*Jris

Lao pa is good meh?...y people say he's good and an extinction man? I dun feel so leh..

Change of name

2008-02-16T23:11:00.000+08:00

I am not longer Christina! I had change my named to Jristina. A little sounds like Justina, yea someone also has such idea. But it looks and sound unique to me. So I'm called Jristina, Jris in short ^^..feel free to call me that

Feel sad and everything just weighted on my shoulder again. So tiring, pressurising again. It just another, only a few days again. Is things changing to much or I just wanted to seem normal...

*Jris

Resolving much...

2008-02-16T17:15:00.000+08:00

Working split today. Looks very tired and bored as it's just like a daily routine. When wake up, it's mean time for work. Well, no choice for staying at home is just so bored, going out with friends is also about spending money. That's why have to work hard for money as everything concerns with money. Yes, so realistic for this is what we are living for.

Things solved easily and rest peacefully at least. For I'm willing to give in, and I can be easy to talk to at times, especially when people angry. However, I can take what you wanted to say or fire. As long as don't let your guilt eat you up and let yourself loosen up which what I greatly meant. Sad, you are unable to understand somehow and down at last we have let it pass for it's over. No need to drown over it for long and correct our mistakes to replace our guilt is important.

Working today is just so fun and relax. Playing around, slacking more as it's not as busy as it seems. Haha maybe its about the pairing that stood in place of the door that scared people away especially with someone having a black face. This is just a joke. I feel this way just that I'm busy resolving personal matters as well as I have no time to care, or even hate people. Seriously everyone over that is good if you don't look in depth. They can be fun at times, well without "teh si" and "bee". They are stern and old hag respectively that would always spoil someone's day. It's really rare to see both of them off together, that's may the day bright and light ^^...

*Chris

They might have reconiled after what I had heard and see. Maybe it's just a wild guess, still I hope he can be back to he's feet and get well soon. Don't want him to be alone again and missing someone. Hopefully, the wait from Mr Nice will change everything and bring them together with her forgiveness. If my intuition not wrong, they patched up already but not stable yet to break the good news >_0..

Best wishes and good luck to you for whatever you waiting. If this time fails again, try to move on then. Jia you~

Headache

2008-02-16T15:04:00.000+08:00

Heave a deep breathe.
Ready to face what is being spilled.
Hopefully, everything is fine...
Back to normal and as if nothing happen..
Just hoping..
It is so pressurising and guilty..

Should be a bright and fine day.
No bad things shall happen ^^

Sense of guilt

2008-02-15T16:35:00.000+08:00

Valentine's over! Still hope the couple around me will last and no matter what upsets they can overcome together. Singles will be paired soon *wink*...just wait as it's the only way...haha

......Sorry........
Guilty overwhelmed for 3 days...
Apologetic to those I felt owning,
Obvious I'm just a mess now...
Now I'm hoping for the best to happen...
Sorry which I never meant it..
For I felt disappointed...

I think it's time to turn away before I start to lose myself and felt even guiltier. I shall never try, lose control and bother at all. For it's all becoming worst for everything around me. I'm optimistic, but I can sense and see things changed so frequently that I shan't have accept it in total at all. I regretted letting myself doing so and getting close, lowering my guard. When more trust and faith given in, it's meant fear, change, hurt, disappointment. All this shall never have happened if I never have intention, listened. Now I finally understand what he meant by "I'm someone who's easily hurt." Just as what she sometimes thought in mind which I think therefore she kept the secret. Including the tarot man. I'm not avoiding, I don't even know what I'm avoiding if you think I am. I just really disappointed and felt guilty, maybe I'm too hard-headed but true was I had dragged too many people down. My mind not in peace, everything is a mess. This lie had decieve alot of people that "trust" me, gave my friend away so accidentally, made someone angry, kind of cursing someone, felt lacking of responsibility. All just came into it which bother me. Last time, I can be botherless to my lies and guilt. However, today, at the moment the lie bothers me too much for it concerns alot of people, including trust. What a failure! In fact, I had wanted to withdraw from this long time but thinking of how it started it just can't bring me to put an end. For maybe of the fun time we shared, the closing gap we have, the secrets and thoughts, your magnanimous that make it so unbearable. I think I should let it go let, keep a distance is better than closing the gap as I'm afraid I will lose more things instead. Soon, I'm leaving and even trying to vanish. Good news I will remember you all even though I can be cold.

The pain and urge were sufferable,
Still I kept it hidden well,
Dismissed in force for better,
Smiling to face in best,
Yet it so torturing,
Tiring to struggle.

Worry not,
I can hold on it,
Playing doesn't mean unwell,
I'm alright always,
Only for sometimes,
As there's no written saddness in me,
Cos bright and positive is me.

I'm always sunshine,
If not like lighting thunder,
That's obvious,
Stop over think I'm weird,
Perfectly fine should replaced then,
More share yourself instead,
Let my glow shone on you.

*Chris

Suppress for weeks (I think), then everything just flashed and flooded in making me lost. Unease with water washed which I hated the feeling. By right, I'm to be blamed for today's almost everything. My foul mouth that can almost bring everything true. Today is just so terrible. Ya, a terrible valentine for workplace customers and me. Terrible and horrible that makes my mood so down especially after work. Just maybe I'm true and honest to friend, otherwise meant stupid for what people would explain. Now become both parties have fight. Haiz~ this is me, always causing trouble and hurting people. So now I have to wait for my time to leave, yes it's even firmer and clearer to me already. At least can be away. *SOB*..haha

Headache

2008-02-15T11:01:00.000+08:00

taste...

2008-02-13T18:20:00.000+08:00

After much thinking and talking, people realised I'm much sensitive towards other people's issue than mine. You may also think that I'm intending to hide my true feeling for you seldom see me cry or feel sad. Only left with angry and happiness to express myself. I just wanted to say I have nothing to hide. I act crazy no matter when is it, it's just my way of living and cope with my daily life as well as entertaining to let the time flies fast. Seriously, I'm alright everyday, nothing disappoint me. If does, I would not have so fast notice, it would take quite awhile till the day ended then I realised. Yes, I'm seriously slow...

Think she realised my mood swing quite momentually. Or I had think too much. Just hope she won't be affect by it, as I had tried my best in dismissing my attitude alot of times. In fact, I think she don't care or unnoticed. For I never say what I want, and she didn't force at all that she so sick of me whether to speak or not.

Twitch of the sense,
dismiss it in thin air,
hope it's gone and never been seen,
to seek for a recovery.

Make the best of it,
let it disperse by winds,
pray for miracles work side as you,
till the torture replace with joy.

Shall never release the devil,
for the dark conquering.
Approve the guidance angel,
to bring the daylight back..

Shouldn't have...

2008-02-01T18:03:00.000+08:00

AH! Late school today. Horribly late and I entered at noon which is 2nd breakout. Many people said I jolly well should stay at home. Staying at home is so boring. Nothing to do. At least when in school there is fun with friends. Last 2nd day of school, our module facilitator treated us every one an ice-cream each. Whole class ended up eating lime flavour because I dislike vanilla. Sorry, pals I dislike the smell of vanilla and it is extreme sweet. Going to miss this facilitator soon. He's a good and patient guy. Thanks for his treat. Woots. Shall upload our class picture which we took today, but it only left with girls for the guys went off early after presentation. The time just flies so fast that it is holiday soon and everyone is going to be separated. Hopefully, I can be in the same team as some of them next semester. *Crossed fingers and prayed hard* I want pictures~ hope can display here soon ^^

I feel gloomy today. Maybe because of his name or something more which is hard for me to describe. First, I forgotten to bring my pants for work till I on my way to my friend house. Late as I visited my friend to lend her my harddisk. Ha ha...just so happy that something miss me. Her DOG! She missed me so much as I had not step foot into her house since four months before she left. Once I was in the house she barked non-stop. Actually, her bark wasn't fiercer than bite. Her bark is her protection to see that person. Now, her bark becomes a greeting to me, which many of the visitors feared most for she might just rip their hands off. I believed she wanted to get close to someone but she felt some people is untrust for she meet only a few times. Even Mich's relatives came to visit would rather stay a distance from her. In her mind or even my cats' mind, they would think that they had meet the stupidest person on earth. In school, also don't talk much and just remembered about the conversation yesterday.

Initial of his name: "name"->blabla->cent->idiot!

Shouldn't have talk about him. He ruined my whole day. Rewinding what was said yesterday concern about him. Once his name was slipped, emptiness and hardened would replaced making me looks quiet. No one would know or see for it was masked carefully.

In the darkest corner,
Making me unfeel,
But its all written,
To the closer that sees.

Never mention,
Just for the sun,
Never talk,
All for the time continue,
Don't speak of him

No mood. Everything playback like a tape. Confirm my feeling now that I don't like who you think. Not even the shield. No one yet to take over.
Confirm: He's a father or a brother to me, nothing else or more.

*Chris (too tired and no tears)
*Chris

No more?

2008-02-01T07:41:00.000+08:00

His name was raked up,
My face longed and stoned,
Trying to get off topic about him,
My heart is numb.

I feel nothing,
But under his eyes,
I think he noticed,
For my face tell.

Digging for mmore,
I pull the topic back,
But he was still remain untold,
I know maybe the feeling no more.

Only a little sad,
No bleed but stone.
Or is it too dark to even feel?
Seriously, I haven't like anyone yet.

Don't assume...

ahh...still got things not clean yet, going to work on it tonight. Also have to do revision on statistic and continue to write story this holidays. Need to plan my schedule well. Going busy soon~ on business...haha

*Chris

Never knows...

2008-01-30T19:42:00.000+08:00

Refresh on childhood memories.
Remember the name of toilet bowl still,
by then I'm sure of the feelings again.
It's never the other him,
It was just the face of his.

Moving on,
but never will let it go.
In denial state,
but the feelings never true.

A piece of my mind will never be reach out...

busy with spring cleaning...sianz~

*Chris

reflects of what I see...

2008-01-29T20:28:00.000+08:00

Let time fles on its own,
don't do it on purpose.

It's never going to happen,
for it's not mend to,
and there's no feeling.

As I'm always in where I am,
never move or bugle,
only to remain,
waiting in silence.

I don't plan to get,
but play to agitate,
driving you off,
sending you to nowhere,
where the distance is far enough.

Thank god you were never the one...
Get away from me...of cos you will
Leave me alone... sure you will
And shall never return...certainly!
Things must lay unsaid and undone..

*Chris from what I see and think...

Clarification

2008-01-29T20:11:00.000+08:00

I just received the email. Improving my pudding. I think it is easy to say than practically done. Hopefully replace him with those bought from the stores over mine is better. Seriously I can't cook. By the way, he's the first one whom I really cooked for besides my parents. Come to it, no one would dare to try or eat so this shows that lao da is noble. Just hope to see him soon.

I'm having fun playing with shuai-ge seriously. I would not worries that he would say he likes me a all. Importantly, I had to make a clear note for the miss pig, which her brain was small enough to understand. He is only an assistant supervisor to me. No more, but I would also call him lao peh which is also means of lao pa(father). I TREAT HIM AS A FATHER, then you are the mother. Both of you so compatible....wahaha..both of you should be the one rather than me.

PIG + GORILLA = ???

never act smart to assume
as love can't be force
to neither of us

*Chris

She FINALLY BACK...

2008-01-27T15:58:00.000+08:00

Yes! She's back on the 25th, night. Her hell over there was finally over. 4 months of attachment in China, Bejing was over. She should have made some friends over there, just like those Chinese who came over here for practical exam as well. She might have quite some experiences now in HTM, indeed that makes her think it is tougher. Sigh! She going to graduate soon, in 1 or 2 months time. It was just so fast that she going to plan her path, her future occupation. I think most likely she will be taking tour guide? Personally, I'm not sure but she don't really like F&B line and hotel management that much. So what will she be choosing?

Yan, time to decide. In another 1 1/2 yr we going taiwan le! Let's save to our target ^^..hehe

*miss u...cya latas...

*Chris

好想...

2008-01-26T19:40:00.000+08:00

好恨自己....
因为我好想他...
我只能眼巴巴的看着他...
当他一辈子的无形守护天使吧..
希望他能一切顺利...
包括爱情..
你快乐..
我就放心了...
到时, 不希望你那美丽的眼睛...
充满生气的眼神消失啊!

我真的想见你一面...
相信你会记得我...
不会像他说的:
不记得也不认的人了...
因为你那时的眼神已告诉我,
你还记得我...
只是我们没说出口罢了..

再会了~

*Chris

好快乐的一天~

2008-01-26T16:56:00.000+08:00

王露老大终于回信啦!
在这瞬间, 我之前的烦恼与悲伤已抛掷九霄云外了.
好幸福哦!
没了低潮和疲劳, 只觉得快乐!
呵呵!
果然想这一个人会难过, 一旦有了他的消息一切就不一样啦!
而且他即将回到新加坡工作了!
大家有能相聚了.
希望到时候, 程程, 宝哥哥, 刘杨, 贞月也会来!
到时我就是全球最幸福的人了!
因为不用在去想念了嘛~
老天爷, 对不起, 我知道我很贪心喔^^~

希望许着生日愿望还来得及..:P

即时最幸福的人上.
*Chris

a miss..

2008-01-26T16:14:00.000+08:00

I don't think I'm able to move on anymore. I may either remain in square one or it just frozen forever. I just hope that you won't over think about who I like. Truly admit, I have no one in mind yet. I just miss my lu wang lao da and the celloist...

Misses someone is bad as hell,
It always with pieces of memories.
Nothing more that can replace,
Now only hoping for their reappearance again.
Bringing by fate..

*Chris

Pieces of memories

2008-01-24T19:12:00.001+08:00

Never been this tired before. For mentally, emotionally and physically. I'm going to give myself soon, I think. The moment I opened my eyes, I started to do housework till rushing for job. Sleeping on bus shows it all. I'm tired. Back at home resting, cracking my brain to fix internet connections, going online trying to bring friends back. It's all really so tough and tedious. Brain working coordinating in planning of schedule. Aw shacks! Now everything getting mess up! Worst I'm wondering why poeple miss me so much. They wanted to meet me so much. At work, plump one asking me when i'll be still working. Tiny ones ask me what time I'm working. God bro said I'm too busy to meet him up that often. Indo friend wants me meet with her again by next week before she went back for CNY. And my click says as if seeing me disappearing as well. Have I been missing alot that much that nobody can find me yet? Ha! Looks like I am what my secondary mates said: I'm like a ghost. Pop in and zoom out till no one notice sometimes I'm right beside. It even gave them a shock. I think I'm going to space myself evenly, to show my presence. Importantly, to meet what others may want.

I'm tired already.
Pls don't give me the torture anymore.
I have enough of you!
Feel free to slap me in the face
Than making me dying out.
Tired...
Or get away from me...

Giving advice,
Yes I can.
It helps people,
But never be me.
It kills my cell,
Sore my eyes and heart...

For once,
I'm praying for someone,
To save my dreadful soul,
Really tired...

I can feel that I misses a lot of people lately. Especially them. Mich and people who I had co-work before. I had lost contact with people from Sumo-house to Jumbo. I remember the place where warmth were all around. I miss my Lu Wang lao da, Feng Bao gor gor, Cheng Cheng the pouty face, Zhang yue the sunshine girl, liu yang the bravo, Nancy our mummy, Winnis my best captain, Wang Ning the nutcase, Yuan yuan the good cook, Ron the ok manager, Tiffany the 'see-la', Lifang the da jie, Lizhen the blur girl, Ye ling the bootlicker, Wanling the stern supervisior, Boss 1 the so-like sumo wrestler, Boss 2 the foul mouth, and sumo kitchen chef...
So much to miss...the days especially. Even though it is just a red dot, still it's hard to see any of them here. Worst when some return to their homeland. I'm feeling lost. No matter how bad is the memories before, it seems good to me now; child care, nursary, kindergarten, PAP, primary or secondary may live scars in me. Maybe I missing time now...

*Chris

Movie fenzy

2008-01-24T03:59:00.000+08:00

I want to watch movie! So many new movies coming up around Chinese New Year! Oh no! There's going to be a big hole in my bank soon. So 1,000 a month isn't big at all.

1. CJ 7 (长江七号)
2. 27 dresses
3. Sweeney Todd
4. The mist
5. Linger (蝴蝶飞)
6. Rambo 4
7. Le Grand Chef
8. I Am Legend
9. National Treasure: The Book of Secrets
10. Jumper
11. KungFu Dunk

see...so many movie and i going to be broke. But sad nobody accompany to watch I Am Legend, moreover it going to be over soon. Haiz spoiling my mood~

movies~wanted to watch I Am Legend today morning, alone. But due to someone, I had to go down tonkichi AND WORK! Now I'm just so tired after fixing my internet connectio. Shacks! Dead tired man!

Tick-tock-tick
when's the time slowing,
Oh!
It flies so fast
And I'm wearing out.
Soon my time will stop.

*Chris

On the day we meet...

2008-01-23T04:05:00.000+08:00

Finally, sun not working and I can go out for once! Thought that I would be late for meeting, then I received a SMS that ah bu will be late for 1/2 an hour. I reached bugis at 7 sharped even though I was released late. She even late for more than 1/2 an hour. Of course on the waiting time, I never waste. I busying looking at the food around at the basement, which was rennovated not long before to change the place into a food heaven. Large varieties provided, only partially for entertainment. I that moment, I have been tempted to more food after moments before seeing it, I was yearning for hotdog buns.

Now what food I'm yearning for:
1. hotdog bun
2. rice ball
3. yogurt
4. hokkaido's fair
5. papa beard's sweet recipe's mochi!

My friend said that after days of being sick, I would feel hungry and tempted easily. Nah, I don;t think so. I'm overly tempted there in the food junction. Yesterday unable to overcome my temptation, I just ate jumbo hotdog bun, hmm still feel that something is missing. Again today, I bought another in school canteen. I had found the missing substances I'm looking for. ^^ But I'm most tempting for the hokkaido fair in ajisen outlet! Haiz...i want to try the dessert so much =P Due to the price is expensive, we go eat sakae sushi in the end. Next time I MUST go! Sad, fio never turned up because of her parents. If not we can talk more, by right our butt was burning after sitting there for 3 hours.

We should cherish what we have before it's gone.
Forever.
We may hate and dread them before
When time pass,
our hearts know
We miss you.
Heart aches and memories flood.

Maybe with her presence, we may hate her for what she doing and words. On the day she's gone, we may smile happily and regard nothing happen. Things just go so fine to us that we don't sense a change. However, when long you will start imaging things and hear her calling your name. By then, you know you miss her more than usual. You need her but she can never be found except in your memories. You will find out on that day, you were trying hard to cover up or that moment you was over run by your hatred. You can see her, talk to her only in your dreams. It's a hateful feeling but we must leave on to bring her proud.

*Chris

Don't know what to react and show her even though I know it well. I just too stubborn to barge; I'm beyond cure I think... Still I'm trying...

A special tues...

2008-01-23T02:56:00.000+08:00

Today, late for 1st meeting again. Actually, don't intend to come but I promised my friend that I'll come. In the end when I came in, there's only 2 tables in class. HA! Close to the end of school terms, people will be running off. More IT SCM, who would want to attend; with a nerdy faci that nags..no one would have the heart. Good thing is when we attend, he promise to start the 3rd meeting early and even let us off faster. For once I feel that his good^^. Yasmin, you darling is good for once you know? Maybe he need a kiss as a reward so that he can be macho and protect you again. You should have come sayang. What a waste, when you never come and we cant see a good show by kissing on the spot.

*Hope that today's lesson can end short and sweet, don't want to see too much of him. I give this opportunity to Yas...^^*

Long day and hours,
when can it be over.
Riding wheels,
flying kites?
Just don't do.
Sleep over,
And another day risen.

*Chris

Boredom occupies

2008-01-22T09:19:00.000+08:00

3 days never go online due to the down internet connections. Tomorrow the supply going to be back! Ya...i don't feel like missing a thing without internet. Haha, looks like I can survive without technology huh? But don't call be caveman, I know how to use technology appliances. Just that it is so unconvinent. When out of the day without internet I can spend my time usefully. Of course not doing housework but doing personal stuff. More it was till late in the night and I'm not going crazy to do it at night. Do something light and easy; to have a break after work.

Here you go (a bit proud of my work^^):Without words! Ha ha and you can see who's missing right? Haiz..jux that day dun wana take :(= miss sim fen ru(pig) but she own me neoprints haha(Within this year* a must!)

(With words along wif the pic =P)Showing my gratitude to my presents and people who given. Lovely presents yea? Haha but some I dun wana open yet. Ha ha...some more presents rolling in =P will also place it here soon ^^ Thx ppl~

*Chris

people...misses

2008-01-18T16:45:00.000+08:00

Just smsed yin. We intend to shorten our 1st story and start on an ancient one again. Haha...yea we both like ancient story, and hopefully we can do consistence update man. Ha ha and by now she busy for her tournament and school work, looks like the on going of it will be on wait. Now I am trying to find time for the old one instead ^^...

miss talking to eve le...will email her soon. Now we totally lost contact. Seriously, both of us are too busy. Haiz and my lao da ge oso ^^

Wee so happy! Yan coming back next month le! Can go to her house again. Disturb her and coop her food :p...want to see the change in her ^^...

JIAYOU WOR!! Mich...u can de la....one more month u will be back in homeland le..

*Chris

missing...

2008-01-18T08:06:00.000+08:00

after looking at yin's blog...
waaaaah!
I have an urge of going back to winglin.
Have the tinge of completing my stories on Ray-Mich, Ron-Lei, Nara-JaeWon!
Must complete!
But up till now, I'm too lazy.
Moreover I'm also busy to work.
Well I think of a cheer for myself now...hahaha

Not to be lazy,
Not to abandon.
Go for the last lap.
And all I shall go.
Time!
Go at the length.

Yea I really miss my readers as well. I still have feelings for my stories and I have the idea. Only problem is place time back into pieces. *Going to find my co-writiers back again*...think eve not free by now :p..she's busy wif her science field stuff. haha

Jiayou!

*Chris

Back to life again!~..halfway :p

2008-01-17T14:52:00.000+08:00

Haha...I'm still half dead after sick. Haven't seen any doctor yet. I bet you can't see I'm sick for I'm able to play around and laugh alot. But one big obvious difference is I'm not as talkative as before. That have to leave till you know me ^^

I'm so happy! I received another 3 belated smses! 2 of my sadness is also part of sickness curing. Haha :0
1. my best bud - Mich
2. my god mei - Grace
3. my good friend - Yan

Weee...the 2 most important friend have sms me >_< *sniff* I'm just so touch. Phew! Lucky I'm good enough to back up an explanation for them. Then the god answer me which resulted them to come wishing me.

I turned up very late. Man, who cares when someone is sick. I should say it in another way. You won't know what a sick person will do. Especially those mentally sick. Luckily, you haven't meet me in that condition yet. If not you will regret for what you have done yesterday. I came all the way down in fulfilling your mission, yet you trying to shoo me home. You know what? I feel like spatting some saliva in you face but I know it still meaningless for me to be doing this. You are just someone who is cold-blooded, lose your humanity. If one day, the same thing that happens on me befall your child meeting someone same cruel as you. What will you do as a mother? Why mother? For you only have feelings for your children but not to other people's children. Sympathetic human you can be, just for your fame and solidize your position. In fact you are someone that won't gain much of my sympathise. Now, I just pray that one day you will regret from what you have done and learnt the meaning of it after years, which there is a no more turn back for you anymore...

She likes to show her attitude and listen to her godma talking cock...when can she see things in her eyes? Gosh!...i don't like to be maglin.

Still not yet recover... and tonight have to have dinner with godma and godbro. Hopefully, not too much greasy food for now I'm halfway through. By then, on sat I'll be able to recover. Now I just feel a little sick, that's why I feel so exhausted. Lunar New Year is also approaching as well, I need time to settle down and do some house work before continue working. That's the reason why mom is angry about me part of it is doing the housework. Haiz!

They may have the same thing on earth,
yet it sometimes doesn't shows,
they fear for the return,
yet nothing can be replace,
Shall they look and see,
amend what they can,
which can prevent further lost,
around them and in their space....

*Chris (too tired)

A great and enjoyable bdae...^^

2008-01-16T14:35:00.000+08:00

Yes...14 Jan is yesterday. I'm now a full 20 year old "kiddo"...hahaha Sorry for me to arrive that late...hee but on that occasional day I'm in power....wahaha

We at the HK cafe(everytime go there). I laughed alot yesterday. My qing ai also has lost her gracious that she also can't stop laughing. In the end I think the most graceful among the 7 people is of course her sister, Seow Hui Ting. Sorry dar I just crown you with that adjective anymore. And I think wherever I go, people would laugh and always be happy. Some even said I'm born to be a comedian or an entertainer. Cool is it? I have the talent, and I can spread my joy around. Importantly, we were all talking crap and grossful things most of the time. The great entertain that will may the scence cover with stone when both Mei Qi and I quaralled. Ha ha I think most of the time both of us would "quarel" and get the whole tables attention. We can't leave a topic without quarelling, dead enemies? Hee you may think so but this is how we communicate. Wahaha but Dar dar and I just sitting opposite having a sweet moments. Haha...actually I feel that when we gather together, only 6 are the noisier amount all. Then Amanda and the old man is left out. Haiz as if some "califare" sitting there just for display. Luckily they never felt too left out. 'Cos we like in market shouting here and there, all over the place, laughed so loudly. Also it shows we were in pairs in communication taking turns to entertain everyone all the whole cafe. I think when I'm around especially in a large group. ^^

Yes the final showdown for to 20!

2008-01-15T09:05:00.000+08:00

Finally, 14 Jan arrive....and I'm finally at 20. How I wish I'm not twenty yet! 'Cause when I'm 20 people will start to nag calling me to behave! Eee...i can't take it anymore! Hee...luckily my look can lie. Hei, not only act and speak ok? They say my appearance looks like someone at age range between 15 to 17! Look! I'm young not by heart, as well as soul and appearance. Ha ha...so Sim Fen Ru don't be jealous of my youth. Wahaha...cos you look more like auntie compare both of us...:p *I'm YOUNG!* ><....
God brothers = 2
SMS receive = 10
Direct in face = 10
MSN greets = 1
Celebration = 7
total blessing = 30
wahaha...felt so bless by people :p...
BUT
1. sad mich nv send me...msg well I help her find an excuse le: she's broke and msg is expensive for overseas ^^
2. sad is my once best friend also nv remember....well she nv remember since last year. Maybe studies and bf is her only thing in mind...
3. sad my god mei grace oso forget le ma...i can dun mind about the present hee some simple wish can le....but i know la..u always belated...haha

Yes...I'm petty :p...and turning 20 today. So fast huh? But I dun care as long as I'm find and happy..

Wishes: 1. Reach for my target
2. Everyone wishes come true
3. Earn more money
4. My idol all must JIA YOU!!
5. Don't waste too much money (SAVE!)

A year isn't long,
Slow as it can be,
Slip out of fast,
without notice,
treasure your time,
to make it more useful...

*Chris

I'm so sick...

2008-01-14T15:30:00.000+08:00

BOO!!!...what a bad day..haiz~ my stomach can't take it anymore!
I puked after the stirred throughout the whole night. Gosh! This is the 1st time in my life and can even suffered that much for a peaceful sleep! When I woke up, my head giving off hots causing me losing my appetite and dizziness.

Main cause: Too much food ESPECIALLY greasy food like the caborano linguini (worst food I ever ate)

Right after stuffing those rubbish down for the night, cheezy+creamy+greasy+milky=yucky! I shouldn't eat that man! It brought only burden to my stomach; totally in torture for the night. Luckily, mom knows how to make me vomit those rubbish rather have it jams in there forever. Finally, sour emptied the stomach. Not only make me feeble also making losing appetite for the whole day. See what those great food brought effects on me! By night time, my good god brother accompanied for supper with just a simple cup of milk. Well and I'm so grateful to have 2 great god brothers to celebrate 1st for me...haha though they are not the 1st hee... then he scolded me nuts!!..saying my brain was damaged due to lack of food for the brain or just won a battle with the sickness causing me mental break down..haha

Well true saying:

MY DEAR = WANG SHUAI! aka SHUAI GE!!

I even told ah di that I'm brave enough to call him feed me orange while he was trying to eat. Sadly, he almost knocked out by direct saying and what a waste the orange dropped to the floor. Just wasted a chance for a go..oooh Keong san also shaking his head and burst out laughing. Ha ha....I'm just too brave! wahaha....

Whatever causes thru mouth,
watch what you eat,
know what your stomach takes,
dun force yourself,
if not,
suffering at the door step....

*Chris

BDAE! BDAE! BDAE!

2008-01-12T07:38:00.000+08:00

Haha....it's only 3 more days to go for me turn 20. Hmm...but alot of people don't think I'm like a 20 years old. Woah! Then I'm youthful! Won't be like others so upset about getting old when their birthday arrive. I should give myself 3 cheers for being young in many people's eyes. Don't be jealous about me look younger. As I'm born to be looking this way; to be optimistic in whatever I went through; remained happy as always; active in whatever I striving for. With reachable target, I won't be stress and down for always. Even though some may be too high for reach, I will still take it step by step, slow as a snail which you may want to say. As long as I reach there, goal is still in my hands. So no worries to all, but people around me always seems to worry alot. Haiz~ well maybe they look further to plan for future, preparing for the worst. I rather be naive and realistic. Ha ha...tackle whatever coming in my way and what's coming up next. This is much more logic rather than over planned and lose your steps before you reach, by then you will be troubling yourself. Yea, yea....I understand~ Leave by myself and in my world...*selfish? who knows!*

Age never counts a things.
Always is the thoughts that plays.
Conscience and firmness that may you grow.
So why bother about beauty and age?
Leave to your pride where the sun shines....

*Chris

AHHHH!!!

2008-01-12T07:19:00.000+08:00

haiz~ my brain always boils on friday. Friday should be a day where everyone can enjoy and wait patiently for he time to flies. Who knows it can be so tedious, stressful on this half-day school. Gosh! It makes me miss my secondary school days alot! What a good friday which always like to kill millions of my brain cells. After this whole lesson, I'm just so exhausted. It's just like I'm return from the war. War with mathematics, calculation and plotting. Wellz, maybe this is the disadvantage of PBL. Think, find, self-help and WASTE TIME + ENERGY! They expect to give you little help and throw everything to you to make your brain works like engine. Once presentations starts, we just blabbed all we can about our finds and tales. Then again they bombarded us with their questions. Woah what kind of good guidance can that be? I should appreciate them aren't I. Good thing for it at least makes me independent somehow and learn to communicate. Hmm, this is my style of learning without textbook..haha

Now Sim Fen Ru...i have updated out of boredom right during the lesson...haha

What is school.
No one cares.
No one likes.
All I know is a place where I can be occupied!

*Chris

2007-12-31T18:16:00.000+08:00

Don't know why.... Yes asking again and again.
Maybe just post more to cover up the lost of postage? Ha ha...
But seeing what she wrote :
do tears dried up??
no..i think it dun..

However, I think it does. Sometimes, when there's a slightly tinge feeling of crying, the tears were halfway clog that it just never going to flow or fall out from my eyes. It is just so hard to cry. I think I could cry from physical pain only, or should I say I'm too use to everything around. I have become senseless slowly and even of knowing the word "tears" in my dictionary. It never comes for years no matter how sad or down but only till physical. Unfortunately, there's no more for either...maybe turning to heartless then...

Funny, ystd gotten stepped on by a foreigner. I hissed a little to the pain and received a squeeze on the neck which totally bring shivers down my spine, goosebumps everywhere that I almost trap my friend into a corner. Just so sorry for her, but it's not on purpose. I'm uneasy and the lift was filled with laughter after they left. I think that's the obvious difference between asian and westerners. By right it's also my mentality of uneasiness being touch by people.

Plenty of bad things happened in work to day. Shall we name it as "breaking day"? Many things were broke, dropped or smashed into pieces mostly by customers. Woah?! It shows that customers do support staff break more utensils. Ha ha...a good sign for the up coming year...

No 1: Station 1
No 2: Station 3
No. 3: Station 2

Showing today's customers are stronger and starving till they protest to us...haha especially station 1 on both shift. Hope this "breaking day" will bring better luck for next year.

For what I wish from the day: Find a new job and be out of there soon....

Remains.......

2007-12-31T17:53:00.000+08:00

PMS may cause mood swing even higher or making girls more depress? Wellz....I'm not sure about this. However, I think you all may realise I'm starting to built a high defence walls now to everyone. You all may think that why these days I'm so hard to get along. Yes, I just feel of setting it up. Now that you make get prepare so just don't bother me. I may just make you angry unreasonably as you realise. And all of sudden I have become someone else that is cold and unrecognizable. When you feel I'm beyond cure or betrayed you can leave. Treat me as a loner....I won't mind ^^ as long as you all may feel that away from me is better, then be it. Leave before you feel your gotten pierce by my sharpening thorns. This have been umpteen times, it would never go better.

There's no more warmth in there
Just felt frozenly cold
Spikes wrap tightly around
The signal is one
The action is warning
The words is blood
The eyes is botherless
In whole to stand alone...

Honestly, I'm still in square one. Probably to numb to move, or too dark for me to see, or mainly just a small breeze, or it just never going to happen. It just remains there....

2007-12-31T17:21:00.000+08:00

Yes, long never been updating. Not mainly becos of bz. Partially consist of unwillingness in my heart to say it, to admit and to explain for troubles. Plenty of things happened yet I never want to speak of it. In search for someone to talk about it but never can find someone to truly say it out by heart. Maybe a sign of avoidance or fear that arose out of nowhere. So if do read it. Just remain silence and don't ask. If I feel of talking about it, maybe it will then be the right time. However, I'm very sure I would put it aside....

Am I myself these days? I'm not sure either, and maybe neither of you also realise. Just because my smile is always plastered no matter it is real or fake. However, she says my smile contains of fake-ness. I also didn't realise at all. I think I'm too numb to everything.

Snow falls to silence,
Cover the mood beneath,
Never expose,
Till golden splits,
That droplets leaks.

我的<第一百天>...

2007-12-31T03:45:00.000+08:00

<第一百天> 是纯白之连的片尾曲. 由张娜拉独唱的. 她的歌声很好听哦. 她可是很会把这首歌唱得象在叙说里头的故事. 声音完全唱出了渴望和悲伤, 真的是值得听的歌噢! 也许你会认为因为我是她的FANZ 而这么说的, 但是仔细听的话也许不会这样一想的吧. 虽然带有韩国腔, 但她努力的学华语已经让她能把华语歌唱和演绎的很好. 大家可看得出她进步了哦! 要支持她喔~

看星星最后一次睁开眼
就这样缠绵牵着手
安静地想念

你说你总是留着我的照片
永远的挂牵暖暖的
亲吻我手上爱的真言啊
时过境迁

最后的拥抱浮现眼前
眼泪是忠诚挽留是背叛啊
留在我身边
就算不是我心甘情
愿我真的不敢说再见

九十九个夜和一百零一天
看日历被撕掉一页
哭红的眼睛看不见吻别
你轻轻一句别忘记誓言
我的世界无数碎片

要狠狠的记住你
还有我们的时间
也要狠狠忘记第一百天
还会有什么距离能超越
醒来时的空
命中注定的分离

九十九个夜和一百零一天
我的生命缺少了一天
你离开我的那一天

有种感觉的悲痛涌上了心头,虽然不知为何故,自己也不想去了解...

Reflection of Kukok...

2007-12-11T02:28:00.000+08:00

I'm back from malaysia Kukok...don't if I spelt correctly. Haiz~ feel so sad and regret that why I didn't bring my handphone over? If not I could take the picture for the whole trip. AHHHH!!! Why am I just so slow in realizing. Haha, but good thing is that I can eat fresh seafood without any awfully smell. Hmm the food over there is better than restaurant, seriously this is what I think. Taste like heaven! Simple and homely-made. From the food, we can see the sincerity they shown while cooking it. Really yummy! Will never forget the taste. Over there, most importantly I can get my sleep back easily from the hours I had lost. Almost every minute I would treassure my sleep, the time over there just seems so long. Now I feel like I had recovered. Ha ha, the life over there is so carefree and relax. Importantly, can sight see those that we rarely could see in cities. Ha ha...haiz just cant relay everything clearly but the memory will imprint in my mind.

Hope to be as carefree in life, having a simple lifestyle would let me sense freedom and a little like me.
*Chris

万岁! 终于找到了!

2007-12-06T20:45:00.000+08:00

终于找到张娜拉与余文乐一起合唱的主题曲了! 好高兴呢! >_< 哈哈! 还找到了两个版本的歌词哪! :P

纯白的爱(专缉版)
演唱：张娜拉-余文乐
歌词制作：我梦如云，QQ：66976786
合: 爱，爱，爱，纯白色的爱
爱，爱，爱，纯白色的爱
女: 一个人的寂寞晚宴，
相册里的黑白照片，
无力改变，让记忆慢慢重演，
看的见风景的房间，
躲藏在沙发最里面，
远离地面，全世界都不再安全
男: 想抱你在怀里，不去管蜚语流言，
把你抓紧一点，
用你简单的表情，换我一生的时间
合: 爱，是纯白色的画面，
男: 你让我的生命改变，
女: 发现你的瞬间，
合: 我停住了时间
爱，是纯白色的画面，
男: 爱上你的一切，
合: 我苦苦的排练，
这段故事的冒险
From: tudou -- http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/Q4focpAy1P4/

好好听呢!＞＿＜　可是电视版本的是另外个歌词:

纯白的爱(电视版)
演唱：张娜拉-余文乐
歌词制作：unknown
合: 爱，爱，爱，纯白色的爱

女: 一个人的寂寞晚宴，

躲藏在沙发最里面，
远离地面，全世界都不再安全

男: 想抱你在怀里，不去管蜚语流言，
把你抓紧一点，
用你简单的表情，换我一生的时间
合: 爱，是纯白色的画面，
男: 你让我的生命改变，
女: 离开你的瞬间，
合: 我停住了时间
　爱，是纯白色的画面，
男: 爱上你的一切，
合: 我苦苦的排练，
这段故事的冒险
男: 送给我的白色书签，
　像是为无聊的誓言，
带着爱的甜，留在我唇边，
合: 爱，是纯白色的画面，
男: 你让我的生命改变，
女: 发现你的瞬间，
合: 我停住了时间，
爱，是纯白色的画面，
男: 爱上你的一切，　
合: 我苦苦的排练，
这段故事的冒险

From: http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/fc_RALL2-K4/ (listen)
http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/CGClCHG8gcg/ (visual)

两个都一样好听!知识较长些了。也可以看纯白之恋的预告编呢～
http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/JnEkHMdOq2I/

爱情真的能象歌词或戏剧那样的简单，纯白么？
*Chris

Settle!

2007-12-05T17:26:00.000+08:00

I know she worried about me. Tried explain but she's just too tired to listen somehow for that day. Yes, I truly know why deep down. She too worried and had become sleepless for the night. The thumpinh of anxiety had kept her awake. Luckily, I'm too busy to talk much and she finally talked to me. Of course is my initiative for calling. Still she nags. It shows she ok then. She listened and let it go. If not what can it be done to return again?.

I never worry too much.
Think deeper,
Sense and observe clearly,
Am I too naive?
Self-centered?
No, I don't think so.
Maybe, yes but sometimes
True: I don't know.
*Chris

In the nine clouds!

2007-12-05T15:54:00.000+08:00

YES!!...Finally found her show and watch it within 2 days...bleh had finished it 4 days ago...haha that's why I never blog. Yea busy watching my cute idol show. She is Jang Nara/Zhang Nala/Jjang Nara(张娜拉); korean singer and actor. More she's co-starring with Shawn Yue (余文乐). After watching this show, I start to like him. Ha ha this always happens after I watch her show, you know ai wu ji wu? Ha ha, hmmm actually like him le but maybe on top of the list. Just that I analysis a little my type. Ha, but just like them in the show which I had waited and waited for 1 whole year or maybe more than that. See I'm so patience in waiting for her series. Sad Singapore hasn't have it yet and I'm calling my China friend to bring it for me. Ha Ha see how crazy I am if its my real idol. Like her after watching Love Patzzi(红豆女之恋) in it, I just can see her innocence and true nature. That's why I like the pairing of her and Kim Jae Won but now it still the same but adding another compatible one is Shawn Yue. And what? She sang the opening of the show with Shawn! Oooh....just so femine and strong. Yup, totally idolise and all over it. haha and I found the song lyrics too!! But not the OST yet...sad. China product do not have OST is it?...haiz~

Show title: Chinese - 纯白之恋(main)/情系浦江(shanghai)
English - White Love/Good Morning Shanghai
Book Name : 麻雀要革命(Girl's revolution)
Cast: 杨雪 (blog)、张娜拉、余文乐、严宽

The actual plot has been change. The actual one is about the modern da chang jin. A korean girl who's wanted to be a chef for korean cruise but always fail to make it. Therefore, she turned to Chinese cruise and met up with the male lead; specialise in chinese cruise. Both become friends for their passion in food till to a relationship including inverting new ideas of combining chinese and korean crusie together.

http://ent.tom.com/1030/1565/2006414-184682.html

Set plot is also similar but they starts from loggerheads to friends. Both of them been through hardships and always help each other, as neither of their backgrounds and memories are good for them to recall. It is an international relationship. An encore of Full House.
Episode analysis: http://tv.msn.com.cn/intro.asp?id=63274

My wish is that she comes to Singapore for autograph session, concert. Act as many show as she can and shine brightly....haha
Really hope to see her soon....
*Chris

Mixed...

2007-12-04T04:23:00.000+08:00

Haiz~ Never been go home for one day. Even switch off my handphone for others to get in reach. Never want to call her. Making her worried. I know it's my fault that I make worried and disappointed again. All this I know but sometimes it's really hard for me to tell her frankly. More, I know she had already turned in at 9. I just don't want to disturb and woke her up from her sleep. Nevertheless, her night was just the same; as sleepless as usual without my presence. Just feel sorry but don't really like to say much. Now you say break everything off with me. Sigh! Just hoping that you will take your words back in the end. Wellz...i have my ways to get you to it.

Besides, please don't think it's your fauly. I'm the one at fault who didn't inform in the first place. You are still welcome to my house, I'll solve my problem very fast de. Don't take every as if it's your fault. Please don't be silly la. You also must learn to solve your problem first before trying to muddle into other people's. ^_^ This is all I can say to you. Jia you wor....if not you will get yourself into more troubles.

Truth not always hanging,
Regrets will be hidden,
Everything is conceal,
Real is so unseen,
Things are lay in dark,
Leave it alone....
Don't bother to try
Or you will get hurt...
*Chris

Finally in school for MONDAY!!!

2007-12-04T03:29:00.000+08:00

Had missed 5 consecutive days fo D&T module le. Today, I finally appear before her. Looks like the facilitator miss me a little as my impression is kinda good to her, not only absentive record, loud voice, and talkative. Importantly, like to talk back which mark a deeper impression in her mind. She's not a bad faci in my opinion. Kind in soul and heart, a sweet little woman that can bring fairness sometimes. However, she like her brain to be contains with all our information of 'what we know and don't know' that is PBL system. Ha ha...not i do not want to attend her lesson. It's because i'm too tired to attend. Wellz, I would try to attend every monday from now onwards. Swear across my heart and guarantee till 16 lessons. Hold on for another 1 week 4 days and we can open our arms to welcome holidays. Soaked ourselves in holiday mood and CHRISTMAS!!

Sad Christmas day arrive,
Places white,
Things dead and dry,
Faces down,
Is it so sad?

Welcome the festive,
Melt with sunshine for colors,
Bring life to surroundings,
Golden rays to boarden you,
Make yourself be happy
Plan to be better for a new year!
*Chris

fun!!

2007-11-25T03:19:00.000+08:00

Look at my beautiful toenails. Ha! This is all going to thanks fenru for her polisher and huixian's doings. I know I have weird taste but it can be funky in a way. Isn't it? My close classmates yasmin and hetty call me punk rock princess. Adding princess behind is it because there's pink on the toes. Nah! I don't like pink frankly saying, I previously intended to have blue instead but its rather too like to see any difference from actual and most importantly no contrast to be seen. So as hx suggested from the blue which took fenru "hardship", I taken hx's. Ha, everyone who saw my feet at this state thought I mad or a weirdo. But I think I'm artistic enough by trying colors daringly. Wahaha...

drinks that we purchase in cineleisure

Yea talking about them, yesterday we went to cineleisure foodcourt had dinner. I'm certainly full at that time and the 2 of them having dinner over there. They were grumbling about how bad the food can go, their rating for the muslim food over there actually a little sucks I admit. Maybe their taste are quite highly epected. We actually bought 3 special drinks which cost $3 for each cup. The person who making the drnk seriously has attitude problem showing the customers attitude as if we owe her alot. Unlike the lady I saw with fenru that woman is friendlier than her man! I like Yasmin's order the poison kiss. It is sour which makes me attracted to it and I drank her whole cup and drank 1/3 of my drink. It tastes awful if those syrup and ice-cream blending together. They said taste like colgate which I felt it taste a little more of the flu medicine. Go have a taste of their special drinks, a little worthy, they have pearls, gummies etc added to different drinks.

People says I always look happy before the food, asking me why I don't know. All I know is I LOVE FOOD!! It is my everything now!
*Chris

2007-11-24T20:05:00.000+08:00

自刚才看了她的'博客', 心里也不禁的流出酸痛的滋味. 想为什么我身边的人就是无法看开, 放手. 也许我真的不明白吧! 毕竟我从未谈过什么恋爱, 自然而然的就不明白有恋爱及失恋的感觉吧. 所以很多
人都觉得我不懂, 但你想想, 暗恋也是爱一个人的方法啊! 也回感到伤痛,愤怒的. 当你越去回想他对你的好, 你自己就会越放不下了. 偶尔把他对你说的好或坏话当耳边风这大概会对自己好些, 毕竟你在想自己的事, 给予自己多点空间. 大胆的面对也许是心理的最佳方法, 找知心朋友发泄,诉苦呢? 有时把他当这是透明的像空气;不加理会,语气冰冷也许会让心死一点吧. 可是如果要办到的话,需要很多用勇气和毅力.偶尔会回忆往事是正常的,可我想边实行这点自然的感觉会慢慢的消失吧?感情治疗须要时间和友情, 可你们有了就尽情使用咯. 把你人为他不懂的,说/做/骂/讲到懂,至少让你觉得感情这事能让你教那些想明白的吧.

老实回答你吧, 我并没有喜欢那儿的任何一方个人. 我可是对我自己良心说的.

我只想做你的守护天使, 尽量让你幸福快乐.
还你自由, 让你找你的理想答案.
当你找着了, 我就会离开并忘了你.
因为我知道你的选择就是你的新世界.
唯有你和被你另一端红线绑住的人.
只有被你爱心丘比特箭射中的人存在着.
我的选择有少数的后悔...或根本就没有...

加油吧大家! 让自己从新出发. 从新的向爱情挑战....
*Chris

movie craze!!

2007-11-24T18:56:00.000+08:00

Waa! there so much movie at year end. They just look so interesting and attractive with their poster being hung up. It always seems that only good, fun, interesting movies will come up at the end. Plenty that looks interesting to me that sounds like I'm going broke. What I mean plenty is really alot which I can list it down.

1. Game plan
2. Beowulf
3. Stardust
5. Enchanted
6. Alvin the Chipmunks
7. The Golden Compass
8. The Boy who lies (not sure about the name)

Look! So many right? My money will just flow not like water anymore but just don't know how to describe. Money is gone like that!!

2 days later is lee san bdae. Intend to celebrate her bdae later, but she's not free and gona work till 9.30pm. Looks like gona find a day next week.
*Chris

What talking you??!!

2007-11-24T16:26:00.000+08:00

What did you mean by " Upset can't do anything de mah...Haiz..if regret won't come this far liao lo.." What do you mean? I really got no idea leh. Maybe I'm slow, I can't read between lines but still so chim I don't get it. Hai~ can ezplain? When I message you, you said you don't understand. Looks ike sometimes you don't really know what you are doing or typing. I think your mind maybe is fully occupy by other things wor. Telling you truth, I say whatever that 'pop up' in my mind. Then the next second I would forget, so I'm someone that can forgive and forget, and can from upset back to happy easily. Not to worry too much, as you all said I'm someone that has an unstable mood swing for every minute it goes. My character is like the day and night. When sun is up, my day is new and bright, things can be bygones. That's my way of living. I can upset at times but may not be as long as you, which is obvious to you right? Yes, you may wonder sometimes do I really feel sad or even cry, frankly saying no much. I prefer to everyday stay happy, even with regret I would also try to make a way out of it. In life, we shan't think that it is a one-path or two lane but be positive that there's alot. If felt wrong, try some other way. Leave sadness behind, and face a new day with challenge after a sleep that's my thinking. Then when thinking you may feel dejected, facing hardship just say "Jia you" to yourself out loud, you may have some confidence to face it somehow. Try it out or even scream aloud.

Ideas and thoughts changed daily, affect with mood and attitudes make a different story. We directed and act in it but we have a choice to choose what we want to be.

Back again...

2007-11-24T15:32:00.000+08:00

Yes again. This morning I pon school again. In total, I had skip 3 lessons and 2 UT for this module again. Some days again I was thinking I had pon-ed 1 lessons, 2 lessons, 4 lessons, 5 lessons for the respective module. Then, I was thinking I was missing a 3 to make it continuous. In the end today I had make it becomes "continuous", ha of course I a larger cause because of my laziness I know. On contrary, I am fully charged today unlike those other days no matter how I try to get back my sleep. I would feel so tedious through out the day and bored. After today woke up at 6.45 and went back to sleep till almost 2. My long gone energy had returned. Felt that so long never been so relax and so alive before. Normally, how early I slept, or even long hours, I still unable to feel go energised. Hmmm now I still wonder how I get all my energy back. But today, I had went all we 2 parties of friend. Busy as I look like huh? What to do if I do not like be in house facing the 4 walls. I think the mudpie mcflurry is not bad but berries mucflurry tastes a little weird. To be exact too much of jam, at least there's some sour taste in it. It actually a normal mcflurry adding sundae toppings only. Costing 50 cents for the topping, a little unworthy. Haiz~ at least we try, not bad overall. haha....

Sweetness in life can last, erase the sourness and bitterness off to have happiness. Sometimes Ice-cream may not be as sweet as you eat, for its the thoughts that tasting it.
*Chris

Good News...

2007-11-23T07:18:00.000+08:00

Ha! Yesterday still thinking how am I going to open my mouth to strangers(some of my classmate) just to do a survey. I even started to think during work yesterday! Gosh it's look as if very hard for me to call peole do survey, but the rest may just be a piece of cake. My brain cracks alot before closing my eyes to sleep. By right, I think till I drifted of to my dream. Is it so hard? You may think is it possible for me right? I would turn people down that's my bad point. I even think while on my way to school. Ridiculous huh? I even think of ways and set it already. In the end, still pull it back and reconsider, ha, so troublesome. However, it turned out well. Instead of the actual target 10 surveys, all were completed. Unfortunately, some of them do not want the very last session to be know. I have to apologise to yijie, my little cute sister. I tried my best hope it helps. Another is I think after the quarrel, pestering, pleading. I think I would most likely not going to be chased out. Hopefully! I shall pray hard.

4 more days to lee san's birthday.

Not i dun admit old, I'm really born on 3oth Jan, not minus 16 days. Ha ha, my soul is trap in the wrong body? Ha ha, so my heart and soul are young. Are you jealous? :p

No matter what, fate let you meet. Even if it is bad or good, you had treassure it once before, you can slow let it go. Don't bring it too close by heart to torture yourself. It's time to set your free and have new hope, girls.
*Chris

2007-11-23T06:49:00.000+08:00

Hai~ today's lesson so interesting! Woots has something that I like...animated programme for me to actually has hands-on. Sad to say my laptop does not contain the program and I had to trouble people haha! Even though tired and almost sleeping, I able to catch things fast enough with hand-ons, yes what I had thought is correct.

Finally, I had said my words. I can only have better communication with her after a quarrel. Mainly, we have a large age gap and out character, attitudes are almost totally different from one another and can't meet each others' eyes. Sometimes wondering did she understand, and she never know. In the end I would always be the one soften down and give in to her. After the quarrel everything that she wanted to know would be revealed. However, I would still keep some that I'm unwilling to. Sometimes, she can't give in much help and she's over stern which I'm unable to speak properly to her. I feel so tired being a jailbird, being always under her wings, someone that is so worthless to her, feeling being control. That's how I'm struggling much to survive from all this, to get freedom, to be out of it. Then my blog would be ponkies wants freedom. This is the meaning behind it which no one will be able to unnderstand, even you right? In conclusion, I would only get 1 or 2 days off from work just to satisfy her. This is the most I can give in. I don't want to face her too much to feel pressurized and being nag. Though sometimes feel gulity and sympathy for leaving her alone, still I would want a distance. This distance is not to her only, it includes all. ALL I mean it in act and words. I treat parents and friends equally which shows my cold-heart and solid shell, the cruelties I can bring to all. I would prefer seeing you less to hurt you further, the only way I can hurt you indirectly and avoid your misunderstanding

Love rainy days for it tears and washes,
Being alone where I can store and no one knows,
Thunder for protect and lost,
Waiting till the wind blows,
When the clouds are clear and pure,
till then the sun is bright as gold.
*Chris

Hhmmm...

2007-11-22T18:46:00.000+08:00

5 more days to get pay! Woots. I'm so in need of money. Just hoping my money can roll in as soon as possible! Money, money, money please come in early. Ha, just so glad this month my pocket will weight alot and can clear my debt at one go! Wahaha. Wait! I still have a list of stuff to spend on.

1. Treat Huixian -- oweing her one for breaking promise -> haha :p
2. Treat Yijie
3. Malaysia trip
4. Kbox

SEE!!..So many stuffs concern money, haiz look like even with so much money, it still flows off so quickly. Money is just so hard to catch.

Save money. God please let me save more!
*Chris

Meeting someone mad....

2007-11-22T02:58:00.000+08:00

Back to there, and this old man is 360 degrees change from daily treatment. He excuse was we are under condition in trade that' why he's doing it. Hei, I had said many times NO WAY! I won't change can't you understand. Haiz, as you happy then no choice for a heartbroke victim like you. When ask you about your personal stuff you act extremely like nothing happens and laughing non-stop. A bitter, fake smile that you force yourself. And you added "Because you are strong." However, you unexpectedly let me indirectly shot you "why are you back to smoking then?" You had turned to quiet down a little. What a man you are huh? Cover and swollen everything down. Haiz~ just like my stupid brother that never going to tell the truth and trying to be nutural. Just as I had guessed correctly, your relationship is unstable and partially of venting it is in the pretention. Yup, we don't mind(maybe) at least you can feel a little better as you had admitted. In fact I don't mind people screaming at me one day letting off their anger, that's what I had been telling my friends or hit me? Ha, and you said you prefer boxing. No way man! Sorry for rubbing in to your wounds even though I had said to you personally. I do it to my friends as well when they trying to forget, erm maybe like what you say loose a screw. And in fact people, I'm not nutcase! Hai~ bless me today I would be playing in your hands though I know I can compromise with it, and be nutural just don't be too over. I don't want to be a scapegoat.

A new challenge everyday will bright my life. I work take it and let it shine.
*Chris

Another boring day...zzzz

2007-11-21T07:03:00.000+08:00

Yea! I can sleep under the frog prince face. Wahaha I'm pro and brave aren't I? Seriously this frog is just so uninteresting. Just a moment ago he looks like a donald and our team members just giggled away. I'm otherwise, burst out laughing at his stupid toad face which is about to croak. Unable to supress it anymore. Oooo...so sad. Have you wonder of getting yasmin in catching your breathe. Yuck! I don't think she wants man, you retarded toad looking creature. Speak my mind, you really irritates me much for standing behind me. I can't do other things EXCEPT sleeping. So ain't my fault. There's no live in this module and you jolly be a satue. Most importantly, don't make me puke! I won't like a toad/frog like you. You not my type. Well if you need someone, choose yasmin. She may acccept you, but sad to say you are her one out of hundred whom she will truly attend to. Haha, I no interest in both your lesson and in person. What a boring data talking about IT theory.

Have a look of yourself in the mirror before making a serious comment, this is to prevent people having nightmares.
*Chris

Full of thoughts....

2007-11-20T18:26:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I'm just thinking.... Can anyone know what I'm thinking? Will they come in notice that actually deep down I had change suddenly beneath my mask. Ha, actually I think no one does. In people's eyes, I'm just a crazy woman. Always so nobody business, wild, defiant, rude, insensitive. I admit I can do every listed things above within seconds but when alone in the dark, you can never see another story of me. As I'm someone doesn't like trouble, explaining, people questioning. Facing the sun, I can always be so carefree, wild and encouraging to everyone. Once out from the sun, in the shades the true-self unleash and things that happened replay. Resolution maybe popping ups for others, planning and even more targets in completion for someone, unseen concern may even appears out from your sight that can hardly come out of my mouth. My darkness is actually your wish, my sunshine is your pain. I'm just someone that is always not in you command causing you disappointing making you regret. May my apology be cheap, but I will still give a word of sorry. I don't like being leaving under people's control but in my so-called imaginative world. If you feel like betraying me one day, feel free to if you think I'm not worth it. Believe me, I can withstand the pain and everything, let it be a cold-blooded creature to you. I will live my own without everyone; independently. You can reach or come for me, but not me to you....I will only be thorns if I go for you...

Everyone has masks everywhere they go, never reveal their identity till they believe they found. Some will be having thorns and blood to their environment, so no force should be added in...
*Chris

HIdden words....

2007-11-20T18:04:00.000+08:00

I agree. I like to make things left unexplain. Don't ask me why? As I already said: I don't know. Yes maybe I do feel like explain, but your words of spice along with salt had instantly turned me into a person full of spikes. A strong defence wall against you ready to fire whatever you commented. Maybe I'm just too selfish who all may think as well. Truly, this is the only I can survive no matter where. Frankly telling, I had tried many times to soften my guard, my position, my mind set. Still no use. It will just automatically switch on in a matter of further injuries. If it really hurts you, I could only apologise to you on my blog. Not to you in person as you may think like the others, and said my sorry is just something so worthless, insincere to you for I will repeat it as well. Therefore, my best outcome is hurting both of us. Showing you my defiance anf firmest in speech making you undestand. However, it just becomes worst and I don't bother to make it clear. Only silently praying you will get it soon, not by words which you had said you know me in and out. By right you what you have know is the surface, and not the depth of my answers...

Misunderstand arise, let it be. Problem occurs, solve it. Words should be laid unspeak to cause more misunderstanding. Don't wish much in finding someone know me thoroughly, but I just wish I can satisfy someone who in need of me that's all.
*Chris

2007-11-20T05:32:00.000+08:00

HA! Later I'm purposely going down to RP just for the UT. Hai~ only to blame myself never go to school early on. And now it's going to rain. Hmmm maybe the sky is tearing for me. Ha, yea I'm thinking to much. Maybe going to rust to work again later after UT. The timing is so tired. I will be so stress man. Wondering who can really help me. I'm not yet prepare for the UT as well. Gosh! I'm in a mess. My brain and mind are in a fuzzzy too. Not only thinking about school and work stuff on surface. Deep under, more minor stuff making me headache. Urgh can't those things just buzz off? Prepare time, prepare! I'm going to rush off at 2. Faster prepare! Mom also going to return. Dad still sick, mom would also come home even earlier. Shoo! Hope not so fast...Too much things to say abd think. Waa..help me..

Rather remain it to be silent so it will die off itself. I don't want to water it with hopes to let it grow and confuse me even more. Shh! Quiet and it will be buried.
*Chris

After days...

2007-11-20T05:17:00.000+08:00

Haiz~ like 2 days never been updating huh? Yea b'cos I'm just too tired. I can even be sleeping on the kitchen floor Ha, actually I'm been thinking but soon doze off. Just too tired for working almost everyday. Same as yesterday, my sunday having a split shift. It means to kill me, no choice all I needed now is money to reach my target. No Kuching trip can switch my target. Ha, well my new target should be a secret. It's from my mom's. Sad, this month I'm actually broke. *sniff* Who can actually spare me a little? That's why I'm on tied spot thinking where to go or proceed to my poster instead. Haiz~ what a bad day making me pon for the five time on this module. Hopefully I can pass for all this semester's modules. Shall everything bless me...haha MUST GO SCHOOL LE!! no more PON-ING!!!

I will reach for my goal and strive for it. This is the characeristic of being a capricorn...haha I will take care de la...

Bingo...jux as wat i'm thinking

2007-11-17T19:00:00.000+08:00

Never post much for yesterday, 'cos I'm tired and late for class. In the end I'm in no mood of writing and end up continue sleeping till the lesson ends. Though a little hyper high and there, which only last a short while like the frequency..haha

Just as what I had thought of him in the way he act. The only way to make a clear stand that he is our supervisior. Not only that, it is also for us to be serious in work rather than fooling around all the time. He wanted us to take note that play and work can be fulfilled in both ways, but it still has limitations. Giving off hints that we should not over cross the line, especially me huh? As I'm just to wild to get discipline, that's why he can only try to be serious a little in work though towards the ending he did soften somehow. In my opinion, I was hei man! What you want from me? I can combine both fun and work together! I don't want to get too stress. In fact, I'm always serious at work bu sometimes I'm just there trying to make it lighter for myself and people around me as well. Not to make myself suffer that much at work, otherwisely enjoy the process and procedure of it. Haiz~ I think by right no one actually understand my thinking and me personally as well. Yes and they think I always just know how to make people angry. Well, whatever then. If not, the harder I think or explain, the more troubles will arise and more misunderstanding. I would just prefer shallow down and let them think what they wants.

Friends are listeners of bad and good. They are not bits and pieces of your soul that links to you. Instead, they are a distant that will support you. In all, they are your plays not part of you.
*Chris

On capricorn~personalities

2007-11-17T18:50:00.000+08:00

They have a great respect for authority but may not, if they reach high rank, be willing to listen to other opinions on things they are directly responsible for. As the ranking authority figure in a given situation they expect their underlings to be as self disciplined as they themselves are, and to perform every task undertaken to the highest standard. They are, nevertheless, fair as well as demanding. Among their equals they are not always the most pleasant of work fellows for they are reserved and too conservative, valuing tradition more than innovation, however valuable the latter, and they are often humorless. There is also a tendency to pessimism, melancholy and even unhappiness which many Capricornians are unable to keep to themselves, especially if they fail personally. In the extreme this trait can make them a very depressed individual; ecstatic happiness alternating with the most wretched kind of misery which is so subconsciously buried that he or she should seek help if such emotions become frequent. For the above reason, capable Capricorn should spend many hours in meditation, gathering the strength to control such inner emotions.

More about capricorn~On work

2007-11-17T03:03:00.000+08:00

Capricornians make of themselves, resourceful, determined managers; setting high standards for themselves and others. They strive always for honesty in their criticism of self, they respect discipline from above and demand it from those beneath them. In their methodical, tough, stubborn, unyielding way, they persist against personal hardship, putting their families and/or their work before their own needs and welfare to reach their objectives long after others have given up and fallen by the wayside. In fact when practical ability allied with the drive of ambition are required in employees to make a project succeed, Capricornians are the people to hire. They plan carefully to fulfill their ambitions (which often include becoming wealthy), they are economical without meanness, and able to achieve great results with minimum effort and expense. Because of their organizing ability they are able to work on several projects simultaneously.

After a whole day of load....

2007-11-16T17:00:00.000+08:00

Phew, today is an easy day. At least in my eyes, he's back to normal though I know he did take in my words. Maybe he just can get me under control, as I was given a name as "wild horse" since young. Can you think of anyone that can hold me back? Nah! I don't even think so, not even mom. All I hope for, he won't think to much and force himself alot for many of us know he's abidding to the rules. Nothing can be blame then for the rules, as a phrase call: Law by law. With a set of rules, we must follow. Be frank, I don't mind breaking one or two. Not many people will follow every listed rules, but at least we try. However, going towards to the end, he had finally tried to fool. Things a little back to normal after the whole day of coldness. I'm just too tired for today, and a little layback since lessons starts. So I was just simply contented with my day.

I think:
1st target reached
2nd large flow of people that keep him ease
3rd witnessed what we did

So fenru, just hold up the courage and talk to him. Break the ice and maybe everything will be back to normal. Both of you are friends, joke around feeling easy around one another rather than uncomfortable. Be brave, fenru. He will see it. At least I can act natural after all incidents that happens and at least may talk things that sometimes out of work. Huixian and meiqi as well. Fenru give it a try la.

Things that I thought:
I think it's all after the "show" incident, pretended to be seriously mad at us. I think he had intended to make use of it everyday, which "the backstabber" last time had shot it through his head. Taking in mind that we will obey once he's angry and giving us a sulk look. Therefore, nowadays he would put on this mask to tame us, those who are unobedient like the 4(or maybe 3) of us.

Build up you courage to resolve anything. Without any attempts given in, you may regrets for losing the onlyh chance, though He may have given you uncountably.
*Chris

Know about capricorn Part I~basic

2007-11-16T16:31:00.000+08:00

Capricorn is one of the most stable and (mostly) serious of the zodiacal types. These independent, rocklike characters have many sterling qualities. They are normally confident, strong willed and calm. These hardworking, unemotional, shrewd, practical, responsible, persevering, and cautious to the extreme persons, are capable of persisting for as long as is necessary to accomplish a goal they have set for themselves. They are reliable workers in almost any profession they undertake. They are the major finishers of most projects started by the 'pioneering' signs; with firm stick-to-it-ness they quickly become the backbone of any company they work for.

Pull hair!

2007-11-16T05:30:00.000+08:00

I'm now so stress doing the excel in Operation Management 2! Urrgh...god how am I gona solve the problem of the day? This is the 2nd time I work my ass off for this lesson. Hope he can be kind enough to give me good grades. If not I shall kill myself man, no should be curse him. Ha, just a joke to make myself de-stress. Haiz~ Don't know what should be next on the excel sheet. Kind lost, as whatever I said was forever like nobody knows. Ha, this show I'm alien? No lo, a human who has difficulties in expressing herself in a good terms. Sim Fen Ru, I won't let you have a chance to say me. Wahahaha, no way to let you win man just to say some words to me when you can't argue with Wee Yat. In all, let's move on to the presentation slides preparations.

Roll fingers to fist,
Keys jump out for reach,
Day that flies with nobody business,
Making it sour and dull.
Come on people,
Bring the light back,
If not it'll forever so sunk.

Get some live in me! I'm so bored and stress in this lesson now! Ha, still a capricorn like me should face the challenge. GO! GO! GO!
*Chris

Smile!

2007-11-16T04:23:00.000+08:00

I know I'm alright le. So don't worry dear friend. I won't take things by heart remember? Or I'm sure you do know me that well not. Haha, I can forgive and take. Just like my personality, which you are describe. 360 degree change every minute and even can be at the highest mode when it's not suppose to be. Believe me I can, my sunshine is always up in the sky since it's day now. However, worry about yourself more. For sometimes, you may be too sensitive and think too much about it. Therefore, you are always so sad and making yourself suffer. You shall bring yourself to the light and bath in it. With the sun showering, you may be brighter then.

Things may be left undone,
Pack with sadness,
Isolate in a corner,
Reaching for the sun in welcome.

I will always stay cheery and everything will be bygones. Sadness shall be a no word in my dictionary. *Smiles*
*Chris

Another day...lala

2007-11-15T18:39:00.000+08:00

Sim Fen Ru...i know you are reading and too lazy to tag me!!! Haha now I'm here to tell everyone about this! :p

By the way I think xian must be glad and irritated at the same time. As I think both of you had met a person like me in your life. Right? Haha, I don't mind being a nag or bug to you all. I just hope that you all sometimes can let things go easily. Don't drown yourself in it for long. Hmmm...that's my unqiue way of "erm" people. Haha,think what you like as it is. In all, try to be happy as always. Just like me happy and cheerful, crazy and fun-loving! So that your days may not be so gloomy. Yea, maybe can't be like me. However, say it out can be a cure to yourself, just a little also helps. Girls! We shall enjoy life! Talk talk talk is a gift to us! So we shall appreciate that we had such a natural abilities. Hope everyone of you don't think too much and stay happy!

No time to turn back, people!
Only to look forward, human!
Take the challenge, man!
Give the best shot of yours!

Just remember
What flaws committed
Are past and ends
Let's start anew!

I would never regrets of my doings, no tears for scolding, just that I'm stubborn to be myself. Hoping for a day to be free...
*Chris

Alas....urrgh!

2007-11-14T17:39:00.000+08:00

Yea....I have finally done with my archive...but uurrrgh! It repeated thrice waaa...how come like that...haiz of cos now I nid a professor's help..now i partially done. Next I will pass the job to my professor to complete it...cos I try so many times and it is still unsuccess.

I'm also here to give my complimentary to my Professor: Hot Baby Nura!!..haha muack thanks lots for your help!!!...

yea i'm a total computer cum website idiot...jux trying to learn it out of fun..haha

Whispers my wish into the gloomy darkness, saying good night to all...*huuuu*
*Chris

So boring..........

2007-11-14T07:15:00.000+08:00

Haiz~ I think today this IT SCM facilitator is not feeling good. Maybe he miss his princess yasmin huh? Waiting for her to come kiss her and turn him back to a prince again rather he sat there and croak to rot. Haha...he's the crazy frog prince. More he is so mindless repeated things many times. Now we sure know he misses yasmin and wana go look for her. But god we are having UT! Pls don't put too much emotion into this if not we are not going to have time to do revision. Come on! Don't drag too much since you said you are going to be linear. Your face is so burnt sir. So quick and get your butt off. Your lesson doesn't bring sense to me! To be you are just giving me a plain boring leturing, pointless and not to the point. Oh god! Finish fast and move! I'm giving u face with my precious middle finger...faci...

talk talk talk....

2007-11-14T04:15:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, Mei qi and I talked on the phone for hours but never break another record la. We were actually all in serious tone then slowly everything tense but soon the ice was broke. We had talked about alot of things, from analyzing me to people around us to way we treat people. And can you image what she said about me? She commented that I'm an interesting character with 360 degree attitude, mood, character, temper etc. I'm someone who change so quickly that can affect people that's what people feel. Even the cutie YiJie also thinks I'm funny. Therefore, I had plenty of names with my character, throughout the conversation Meiqi thinks that I would be like: complain/grumble->serious/defence->too stubborn to explain->contradicting in trying to explain->consoling/advising people->joking/laughing->serious...
That's why she thinks I'm different from people as I can change so quickly just like the mask changer magic. Unlike normal human being once angry and at this mood would take quite a long time to recover. Then she would call me sampan, feel me too mature, naggy.

From what mostly I heard, people will feel like I'm their sunshine who always bring smile to them. But I think that mainly and can spread my mood to the people around me as I'm too straightforward that everything had shown on my face. Haha to correct myself, I think I have daylight and night just like our daily life.

Haha let you see my friends:
This is the threesome (from left meiqi, yijie and me)

No tourist....blah

2007-11-14T02:21:00.000+08:00

Yea....I admit I love to take pic anywhere I go including food that I eat as well. Ha ha do you know why? Because taking picture can permanent last it forever, refresh your memories. I'm glad that I finally have camera-phone. I will forever not going to change my phone then, it consists alot of precious memories. Hopefully, I won't lost my mobile phone.

Have a look at my photo:

Nice?.....I love take beautifully scenes but no tourist k?...haha

Pon-ing

2007-11-13T06:40:00.000+08:00

Today, is the first day of school reopens after the 1 week hoidays. Yet now I'm still at home slacking and doing this blog. Beccause of someone I'm having sleepless night plus preparing for my UT. But now I have to correc again, I don't feel like going UT now. Skipping this D&T ut for once and do my best for the next 2. I'm not really prepare so, doesn't feel like going. Hmmm...now I had to discipline and pray hard god will help me. Pls don't let me retake anymore of the modules for this semester! I had enough, I promise to all I tried going school everyday from tomorrow. MUST GO SCHOOL!!!...

Later going out le...IMM somemore hope can be able to reach work on time..haha and sorri to my conscience and mom for not going sch!

Gona be a working craze from today on works, hope i can support through the whole week.
*Chris

Itch in the heart

2007-11-13T05:22:00.000+08:00

Thanks to MISS K-P-O SIM HOON LU!! She going to be famous soon I bet. For she's appearing in xian's and my blog, I think she has to think carefully about what she has to do in order to appear less on the blog. Ha ha....but what I can foresee is she doesn't bother. She ar....already in hot soup and brainless of what she going to deal with her business yet she still have the heart in meddling into people matters. When can she come into sense man! Sometimes the pig's brain is so tiny and straight. Then she clamps everything into her brain thinking too much in the end, she's stuck there. She always like to think in a complicated way even she has already weight with too much matters. I sometimes pray that someone can just knock sense into her, since you have trouble use a simpler way to resolve but in the end she just getting into more troubles in her way. Haiz~

Like yesterday, I was stunned when she told me she had sent a message to him. However, I was giving a none-of-my-business attitude trying to get over it. Sadly, after the 'Hi!' message being sent, he finally replied. Lulu you should be happy then: 'Hi! What's with the sudden Hi.' Excuse me! I was trying to move on and get away from him, trying to say he won't reply. Then, in the end he sent a message. A total shock with happiness struck. Lucky for you SIM HOON LU! I'm someone who sleeps easily even feeling itchiness. However, I won't thank you for that. I hate the feeling of waiting. Yes, we did send a few then but he never reply. I can admit one is lame, but the other was talking about the girl and praises her. He seems don't want to reply. Haiz~ by fact I won't think so much. So don't talk much....

The tinge feelings that appear will vanish soon....
*Chris